Board Info and Rules
A board based on 420chan's personal issues board. Any discussion of problems pertaining to motivation, social life, relationships, family issues, education/work experiences and personal problems is welcome here.
Shitposting will result in a temporary or permanent ban, and posting content that is illegal in the United States will result in a permanent ban. Illegal content includes but it not limited to explicitly illegal pictures, inciting others to commit illegal activities, and requesting others to aid you in the pursuit of illegal activities.
Shitposting litmus tests:
>Does my thread OP discuss personal issues by any stretch of the imagination?
If the answer is no, it's probably shitposting.
>Is my reply related to the OP, other replies in the thread or board discussion in general?
If not, your post is likely a shitpost.
Use your better judgement please.
>try to approach a woman
>not even mildly attractive, a fat feminist with a bunch of piercings that only drew me in for her tits
>get her number
>picture of her with her boyfriend
This just keeps happening, I don't want to add up to the reasons the modern world goes to garbage by cucking the guy. Why does this happen?
Feel like I'm developing a disassociative disorder
There are many times during the day where I feel like none of this is real. I feel like I'm just using this body as an avatar. It makes me lose focus and it's causing me trouble in my classes. I constantly feel like something in my body wants to float out and away from it.
What should I do? I want to get help but I want to get the kind of help that won't just throw pills at the problem and hope for the best
I'm becoming more convinced day by day that 4channers are the real NPCs.
4channers say they value "independent and critical thought"
> suggest a personal unpopular opinion that questions the usual edginess
>"REEEE!! NORMIES GTFO!!!"
>"Get the fuck back to reddit."
>Go to Reddit
> Anons whine about political correctness and "normies."
>Website has dedicated page for 4chan
> Go back to 4chan
>Anons whine about political correctness and "normies"
> "Lol zoomers are so dumb. They fuck like sluts and like dark stuff. They need Jesus."
> never mind fact neo-boomer 4chan-anons are degenerates that practice occult, have nasty fetishes, and may plan coldblooded murder.
I know that many of you will say "ah its just annoying underages" but I dont think so. These folks get so pissy about any new slang or meme that "le edgy teens" is not really plausible. "Le edgy manchildren" is more like it. Just more proof that Xennials are the new boomers.
How to get a GF Thread
>slaving away at uni
>got a shitty casual job, looking for a better one
>live at home
>skinny, but work out from time to time, could do more
>no friends mostly, but eh, fuck that
>"nice pics, anon, reminds me of that hot girl at work that flirts with me"
>okay, whatever faggots.png
>"hey anons, what's a good show to watch with a girl coming over?"
>fuck this, I'm out.jpg
>commute by train to uni
>some nerdy fuck sits in row in front of me with cute blonde giggling all over him
>must murder everyone.gif
>spend day at uni, ignore crushing loneliness
>trying to study at the library, sexy girls galore
>make accidental eye contact with some babe studying biology and hold it
>she actually smiles
>fuck me, what is happening.jpeg
>walking back to train station
>some fat pajeet trying to talk to tall hot chick as I pass by, she's smiling
>must stay strong
>still want girlfriend, can't concentrate on actual work
>fuck my life.png
Anons, I need some serious help here. No /r9k/ or /mgtow/ stuff, fellas that actually get girls without being Chads.
How the fuck do you do it? Social circle would be easiest, but as I said, I don't actually have any friends and I haven't the slightest clue how to go about breaking into those circles. I did join a Latin dancing club at uni, but I usually leave after the sessions end because I don't know how to talk to anyone.
Why can't adults as a collective take responsibility for their shit? Why do they always blame the youths for everything that goes wrong?
People in the west flip out about teens jacking off to porn yet they see no problem with 40-something men drinking themselves stupid to the point where they require surgical intervention which will go shit because of alcoholism.
Grown men drop F-bombs all the day long but get pissy about some fourth grader makes one.
Or how about people getting angry about grade schoolers not knowing about pop culture from 20+ years ago yet these old farts don't even know what was popular in their grandparents' day?
I go on the Internet and see mostly people in their 20s, 30s and 40s whinng about not finding about the perfect mate with the perfect bod but they accuse teens of narcissistic thirsty virgins. (*cough* /r9k *cough* /cuteboys).
I mean adults nowadays really are just eternal older siblings. (Not that adults were mature to begin with.)
I notice adults get angry when a child doesnt say "please" or "thank you" but these same folks rush out of the place without a please or thank you. And when there's some tech the elders don't know how to use, they make smartass commemts, but when a teen criticizes the tech of their day they huff and puff.
When a child or young adult makes a mistake on a task, especially if they're male, the elders accuse them of being lazy or immature. Yet these same elders walk out restrooms without washing hands or they pick up food they dropped on the floor and eat it.
I know most of you will never agree bc we've been conditioned "criticism of your elders is disrespect." And thats why boomers can get away with recklessness over and over simply because theyre "too old to scold."
THE KIM KARDASHIAN EFFECT
Finding a girl can be a real ordeal especially when your not a nigger since yes these modern girl have been conditioned to crave one mass hipsteria THE KIM KARDASHIAN EFFECT as I well call it… Not sure if this post is on going and you or anyone else is actively seeking love by the end of my post you would have learnt how I cope with this modern delema… One things for sure being a degenerate has its draw backs I just ponder all the loop holes and trap doors that exist in just trying to coexist… I can only point the blame at a generation that is more interested in itself then in trying to persuade another into being a lover…when I was a youth I used poetry as a method this got me to the gate but never allowed me to bathe in the valley of pubes it was nearly a tool to one day wet my cane in her pool…we are caught up in a world of inequality decotomy where walking on egg shells is not enough to attract the lemming from the brink of death far be it for one to obscure such ravaged mentalities everything is everything and nothing means nothing when social media has made everyone less social when you can be all you can be on fakebook… By the time I turned 18 I had lived every fantasy I could ever imagine and in ghastly nostalgia I can see how I've corrupted my own mind picture if you will proverbs 7 crawling in the dead of night through the threshold of paradise praying that her father doesn't find me stuffing his only daughter till she folds over for seconds all in a haze of adders driven hysterics oh what fun it is to ride in a one whores open legs jiggle jangle dingle dangle and now she is a fandangled memory…but I learned about from that dummy that plowing her flesh up in her tummy now just seems funny started as friends ended as lovers and I'll never forget the first less the others…everything that is forbidden in which you can find fulfilment a smokescreen in a beehive these modern women don't know what they want…they all seem to have the same fashion choice monkey see monkey do…there they go every where I go everywhere I flee I blame the TV true love is hard to find when all these bitches are blind…the next generation will be fine because they are not of the same mind as to what I had to do to find I had to back in time.
So I was watching a tiktok compilation when suddenly I see this beautiful girl, the kind that makes my heart skip a beat and my vision start to blur. It's a thing with me. Anyways- does anybody know what her tiktok name or whatever is? I don't have tiktok but i'll take whatever steps necessary to find out as much as I can about her.
i don't like pusspuss anymore
i don't like pusspuss anymore
i'm not gay because i still love girls, but now even anime pusspuss is not appealing to me (real life exploded Arby's is out of the question.) am i becoming an unironic LGBTQXYZ123+ person? i want my sexuality back
Anybody else like to download/pirate obsessively?
I have USB's, disks, and even a laptop devoted to collecting online stuff. It's usually films, TV shows, Anime, books, videos, music, Video Games, Pictures, and other misc media and stuff, but I've also started adding leaks, hacks, doxes, Documents, webpages, and other stuff like that to my collection.
I like to call it "archiving" and fancy myself a sort of scholar, but it's more like digital hoarding of some sort. I'm barely even interested in the stuff that I have, it's just cool to say that I have all of it, more so with this TPP trade deal threatening to take down content en masse.
Struggling with Porn Addiction
Hi /qq/, I'm going to be totally honest here…
I'm 16, and I was exposed to porn a really long time ago. I did a lot of web surfing when I was younger, and I eventually came across it then… but I would probably classify myself as being addicted when I was 12 years old or so (which was even before I started masturbating, by the way). I did a seriously good job of keeping it secret from my parents until I told them last year.
I'll tell you this, I've had a therapist or two in the past to help me through this and some other stuff, you know, but… I used to feel like the addiction was making me really impulsive, you know? Like, difficulty concentrating and irritability and stuff.
So yeah. I got this new counselor last October, and um… he was like, totally pressuring me into telling my parents and asking them for help, which I wanted to do anyway… and I knew this would be a really massive step for me, because the type of porn that I enjoyed watching was practically a part of me, and throwing that away at the wrong point in time wasn't my favorite idea. Not but a month later, I finally caved in to my counselor's pressure and told my parents.
I think what I'm trying to say is that no one seems to be taking me seriously. My counselor didn't even understand my whole issue, you know, because I hadn't even been his patient for a month by then… and even so, my parents got me a new phone with internet access that Christmas (which I specifically requested them not to do).
I'm really fucking tired of this mess. Should I give up?
I am tired of sociopaths lying on the press and the media behind it. I for one, hate lies and untruth more than anything, it makes me seethes with rage. And the latest shit about NZ shooting? The bodies are still warm and those psychopaths are already making the bullets out of them to shoot at anyone they do not like or stood in the way of their profits.
I am already withdrawn from the society at large, do not use any social media, and the only internet hangout I still frequent is this place because of the above. Every time people lost the truth, it sends me into rage and then a spiral into depression. People are already out for blood from this outrage. Some are already pointing at Christians, traditionalists, other right-wingers, who have nothing to do with it; they wish them shot down and out and this is exactly what the perp wants.
My faith in humanity wanes every time and this is not meme'ing. I struggle hard to even look other human in the eyes for real for a while now. I almost come to the point that I do not trust or hold any love for human any more. Inb4 go to shrink or talk with friends or family. Nope. Nobody wants to listen to anybody any more, everyone wants to shout as loud as they can and wants everybody else they do not approve of to shut the fuck up, and all I want is silence.
Blogpost. Yeah I know, but this is /qq/ and anybody seldom comes here so might as well vent.
How/where to talk to freaks
I've been a hikikomori since 2010, the year I dropped out of high school.
I have not had a single social encounter with anyone other than my mom since.
I no longer feel loneliness per se. I hate everyone even more now than I did back then.
But, seemingly unlike many people with my condition, I haven't completely outgrown the desire to converse. I'd still like to talk to people. Just not normies, not women, not even 8chan users, really. I post once a month now or so because I just can't stand your "culture" and most of your interests. Jojo's bizarre adventure is a piece of shit. Pokemon is a piece of shit. Pulp fiction is a piece of shit. You all own cellphones and half the posts on this board are about girlfriends. Etcetera.
I digress, I'm going off-topic.
What I'm getting at is I want to talk to people that hate almost everything and only leave their house once a week like me.
I don't know why. I don't know what we'd even talk about. I just want to try it.
Trouble is, I am an outlier. I am talkative when family gives me the chance. My social skills never depleted somehow even despite my constant isolation. I guess they are an inborn trait for me. Not the case for many of the fucked up people I have spoken with over the internet. They were always quiet and left me hanging so I gave up. And that was when I was lucky enough for them to agree to talk to me at all.
It's a paradox. I wish to speak to fucked up people, but how would I find them when they do not post and I do not post. We are not active on the internet, that is what separates us from the rest and also from each other.
Good feels thread
I’ve begun to exercise on a regular basis. I also kissed a girl for the first time in a while, and although the relationship didn’t develop much further I don’t care. It felt great. I hope you qnons are doing well, and to many more threads of this kind.
since about a month ago, i've been suffering from unilateral (one sided) migraines, which go from 0 to end my fucking suffering in a matter of seconds, and the medication i've been given for them makes me dizzy and drowsy, and doesn't entirely stop the pain, you're jsut too hazy to care that you have a crushing headache. what's more, it's going to be a month at least until I hear back from the doctor i've been referred to.
Paypal or credit card
I need your help /qq/.
I want to buy the self authoring program, this thing here:
But I don't have a valid credit card (because reasons). So… What I'll do is I'll barter the cost of the program, plus a little bit more on amazon goods for anyone who can and is willing to purchase for me the program. I'll explain myself:
>You have a valid credit card or paypal account.
>You are willing to purchase for me the program.
>you contact me, saying you want to help me
>You choose any good on amazon up to $41.50 that I'll pay for you.
>You pay 29.90 for the program, for me
>You put in place the rules of exchange
Please /qq/ make a bro a solid.
Fell in love with my friend-zoning best friend
This guy and I have been close friends for over 10 years, and I have fallen hard for him. We've never dated each other but we both clearly have strong feelings for each other. We've spoken intimately and have behaved romantic towards each other, done most things just short of having sex. He is worried he is not mentally ready for any relationship due to his past failed relationships. Because I work and live abroad, distance is also a convenient excuse for us not to date.
Each time we see each other in person, things get heated, leading up to the moment I fly out of the country. He seems good at compartmentalizing because he is content about staying friends with the intermittent benefit of physical intimacy. I feel like it's hard for me each time. I get overwhelmed by my feelings for him and want more than just friendship. Whereas he seems to be able to remain friends regardless of how far (short of sex) we get, I get frustrated and expect more. I have to piece myself back together and the cycle repeats.
I haven't confess my love for the guy, but I am sure he already knows–it was clear through my body language each time we hung out. Recently, I outright asked him if he would consider a relationship with me. In response, he said he says he cares about me, but he is sorry that he can't give me a straight answer. A flat rejection might have been easier to deal with.
A career opportunity is coming up that will let me be physically closer to him. I am hopeful that if I lived near him, we can date. But I wonder if it is worth it to have hope for me and him. Once circumstances change, would he be ready? Or should I expect to get friend zoned forever? Do you think I should close ties and move on?
i've got a bit of a dilemma
i've failed my algebra/geometry exam in uni 4 times now
technically i shouldn't have even made it to the 3rd year because of this, but they let some of us pass
knowing that i'll probably fail, i didn't bother studying anything this year, planning on dropping out. if it was up to me, i wouldn't have even bothered with the 3rd year, but my parents said that as long as i can keep trying, i mind as well
problem is that i've been lying to them that i'm doing alright with the studying for a while now, so they think i'll be able to pass most of my exams.
the good thing is that while i've been doing nothing at uni, i joined a more modern university (not an official one, but it has a lot of partners and the education is a lot more reasonably done), and i recently got an internship here
they don't know about the internship
my idea was that i could use this to balance the good and the bad when telling them that i fucked up all my exams
how do i do it without giving them a heart attack?
>Just turned 27
>live with parents
>have always been a social retard and very anxious around people
>only had one girlfriend because she basically did all the approaching
>low self esteem in addition to the anxiety
Lately have just been feeling depressed about the lack of a social life / girlfriend / being fat, yet I find myself in the same spot I was six years ago. The fucked thing is, subconsciously I may not even want things to change. How the hell do you get out of this trap?
Is this board active anymore?
I want to ask for advice regarding my relationship with my parents.
To put it shortly, I can't really talk to them about anything, not because they have ever treated me badly or whatever, but it's just because it feels terribly akward for me. I just don't understand where this comes from, it happens to a lesser degree with other family members too. I stil live at home because beautiful third world economy, even though I'm saving to move out ASAP. This situation makes me feel ashamed.
Has anyone had to deal with this before? What could be the issue?
>puberty is about to start
>really want to be a girl
>can't be because i'm male
>always hang out around female family members and friends, never had a male friend for more than 4 months
>haven't developed sexuality yet or seen porn so it's not a weird fetish
>neglect this anxiety
>wait a year
>anxiety is inescapable
>talk to parents about it
>they're hostile as fuck and say the internet brainwashed/indoctrinated me
>they don't believe in doctors and only take homeopathic medication
>my mom has PCOS and tried to cure it with a gluten free diet so that's probably why i was born fucked like this
>gender dysphoria was apparently created by big pharma
>i find /pol/ at age 12-13
>i call everything i don't like degenerate
>i am an absolute asshole to everyone on the internet and real life
>i still have a bad reputation for it and i completely accept that
>my life is at rock bottom
>the house looks like /r/neckbeardnests and my parents are ready to disown me
>realize that i only use pol/cringeanarchy/what have you to make myself look better than others by comparison
>thought i was saving the world from liberal degeneracy but i was actually just being a faggot
>bone structure is now unpassable
>clean myself up
>talk to parents again about dysphoria
>they roundaboutly accuse me of watching trap porn
>say that if i ever "decided to be transgendered" they would have failed as parents
>i don't want to become a disillusioned retard again so i ignore what they say
>do what i can asap
>come out on IRC
>mixed response, 50% say i've been cucked by le jews xdd and the other half are cool with it
>order female hormones and androgen blockers on the internet grey market because i don't want to have to transition at 18
>still haven't shipped in
>all this time i've been undersleeping to stop bone growth and acting generally strange
>finally get the courage to explain everything in a video and then tweet the video
>the one IRL friend i have accepts me
>entire community of /pol/yps cite the time i acted terribly despite the fact that i actually acted exactly like them
>hypocracy aside they're kind of right
>i am a degenerate and the product of a mistake
>i don't see why i should put a burden on people
>i am an asshole for existing, nobody should have to deal with my conflict
i'm thinking of doing a cost-benefit analysis to see if there's more people who would be in favor of me being dead than people who want me alive, but i still have a tiny part of me with a will to live, although i have no idea what i could accomplish (if anything) if i stayed alive. that's why i'm posting here.
How to make money?
I'm a graphic designer with no programming skills whatsoever. How would I have to proceed in order to make 100 dollaridoos a day for a year in the internet?
That's the amount of money I would need to keep a NEET lifestyle for another year.
Any and all advices are welcome. Also anyone needs anythig graphic design related?
/qq/ a couple of days ago I had a 6 hour masturbation session for the first time(my longest session I have ever had before was about 3 hours with no side effects). Soon after my head started hurting and I felt like crap. The headache lasted the whole day and into the next day. It's been about a day or two since and I only been sleeping about 3 hours.
Anyone ever been through this?
How mich did I fuck up my brain?
How long should I refrain so my brain can heal?
27 year old KV here, never had a gf, been a waifufag for years now. After some recent events I wanted to try dating one last time before just giving in to eventual wizardhood. I don't really want to meet girls through coworkers, and I don't go out to bars or anything, so I'm considering online dating. Anyone have any experience with it? I'd be looking for an actual relationship. Random hookups aren't appealing to me.
Anyone been in a similar situation too?
How the fuck do I continue?
>in my early twenties going on mid-twenties
>live at home
>cannot summon motivation to apply for jobs and when I do, I inevitably get passed over
>study IT at uni
>completely suck at it and hate the subject with a passion
>fail repeatedly at subject simply because of laziness and lack of motivation
>plus I'm behind everyone else in terms of knowledge
>still must do it because my parents are relying on me
>reputation is down in the drains, everyone thinks I'm a loser/liar/asshole
>no friends whatsoever and I'm pretty sure the ones I "have" only stick around because I've known them since childhood and our families are friends, not because they like me
>no girlfriend ever, never touched, kissed or fucked a girl
>skinny as fuck, try to exercise and still skinny
>do martial arts couple of times a week, literally the only joy in my life
>have good imagination, try to be creative
>suck at art, can't write too long without being bored, and how can I even try music?
I'm really just contemplating ending it right here and now. I used to think that I couldn't do that to my parents, my friends and my loved ones because it'd break them. Now I'm convinced that they'd all be better off without me. I don't think I'll ever climb out of this hole. It's like there's a demon in my head that won't let me up. I can't fight it.
Always Taking On Too Much Shit
I'm always taking on too much shit. I can't seem to balance my life at all and then it all comes tumbling down when something happens, but I don't know how to fix this shit…
Right now my average weekday starting in two weeks looks like:
<4:30 AM: Wake up and get ready for gym
<5:30AM: Go to gym
<8:00AM: Go to work
<4:30PM: Get off work
<5:30PM: Go to class (CISCO or Russian depending on the day, studying inbetween work and then)
<8:00PM: Get put of class
<9:00PM: Go back to gym
<11:00PM: Gym closes, have to leave
I'm fat so I feel a constant urge to exercise to remove fat, and I'm also a workaholic (or rather a "chillaphobic") so I damn near get get anxiety attacks when I have free time/start ruminating on all the shit I have to do/shit I did wrong. During the summers I intentionally work a second job and try doing shit like writing a novel or making a game or learning code. It doesn't help that my whole family is super fucking lax and always late for everything/procrastinate on everything so they don't fucking get it. When something happens like my mother's car breaking down, she steals my truck (we work opposite shifts) and then I get stuck at home after work and I can't fucking stand it and weed/alcohol/bunge eating are the only things that keep the anxiety at bay. I know.my lifestyle is unhealthy nut I just don't know.what to do any more and can't get out of this shitty situation for at least another year…
Are waifus an issue in your opinion?
I personally don't think it's a personal issue, but you might. I have a waifu. He's an 16 year old cartoon werewolf.
He's heterosexual, and I'm a man, so I had to make myself an avatar. She's a 3 year old cartoon bat.
I think about him all day. He's my security blanket. People can abandon me and I can have no money or food and I won't care because I have my waifu. I don't think unhappiness is even a possibility for me anymore.
I write about him here. http://oxwugzccvk3dk6tj.onion/eerie/index.html
Try and convince me why I should or shouldn't continue my relationship. Are there any arguments beyond "It's not real!"?
Thinking of fucking off.
Not like offing myself, just leaving, I live in Montana near the Yellowstone river, I've been thinking of buying a canoe and just leaving, leaving my friends, my bills, my useless life, just dropping it all, and floating down the river. It would take months just to get to st Luis, and I'm sure they would be the best months of my life, if I survived, but afterwards I'd be homeless with a ton of debt and a trashed credit rating. Anyone ever think of doing something like this.
I've always been an outdoorsmen, friends say I'm a different person in the woods, and I feel it, I feel alive, but somehow modern life got in the way, working all the time to pay bills for things I don't need. I just feel like running.
The only hitch is I really want to have a family one day, and what little I know about women says they really don't want to start a family with a guy living under a bridge. So it's play the rat race and hope to have a family one day or answer the call of the wild and become the lonely bitter mountain man I always knew I could be.
jfmsu tbh fam
qt3.14 gf of six months dumped me over the phone yesterday night because she couldn't handle living so far apart and seeing each other so little. It's about 1.5 hours either way on public transport. I met her during wage-slavery towards the end of last year, and I still can't believe she took an interest in me. We were both each other's first everything.
I never treated her wrongly; she never reacted badly to anything I've ever done; I always took care of her; we never had a real argument before. We used to constantly play-argue both in text and in person about me always being right, as well as who loved who more; the fact that she meaningfully reciprocated gave my black little heart the first bit of real warmth I've felt in years. I asked her if distance was the real reason, and this is what she said:
>No there is nothing wrong with you, I'm sorry yes it was the distance, I guess I'm to weak for it, I guess that means you were right… I guess you did love me more
>I guess that means you were right… I guess you did love me more
I've already rationally made peace with it. If she made the call after having seriously thought it out then there's no point in caring about something out of my control, and if she made the call without seriously thinking it out then there's nothing stopping her from doing it again if we were to get back together. Despite this, the last part of her response has fucked me up. Does it mean that any of her love was false, or intentionally exaggerated? Does it mean that she just got sick of me and that's that? The only thing she ever showed for me was adoration.
Where and how the fuck am I meant to meet anyone now? I'm stuck living in multi-culti hell, surrounded by asians and brownies; my family finances and general circumstances are 110% fucked from years of reasons entirely out of my control, and likely will be until my youth has entirely wasted away; meeting good women at uni is virtually impossible, doubly so in physics and mathematics; what used to be my solace from the world (vidya) brings me no joy anymore, so now I feel more more miserable than ever, even if I keep a stiff upper lip as I have for damn-near all my life. The only meaningful thing I could realistically look forward to in my life has disappeared at the sound of my phone ringing.
I wish I never got a taste, because now I know what I'm denied.
Wanting To Talk To A Girl
I have a lot of ups and downs emotionally, usually over the course of multiple weeks. When I'm at my lowest I think a lot about how I was raised and whether its even possible that I might recover from the social retardation I've picked up. One reoccurring thought is that it might be nice to have a girl to talk to this all about who isn't a girlfriend. Iv'e had one girlfriend before and it didn't go all that well and I realize that I wont be able to talk to a girlfriend about this stuff even if I got one, but this reoccurring idea is so appealing. I can't explain it but I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this urge to have a girl to talk to about life who is just a third party you trust to not screw with you
How do you deal with teenagers or kids mocking you in public as a grown man? I'm talking about stuff like pointing at you and laughing behind your back, calling you a faggot, etc.
I'd figure that the most appropriate response is simply to ignore them since they're just being stupid kids and that you shouldn't give a fuck about every little thing. You can't hit them and you can't give them a lesson verbally. What would you do? Do you agree with me that ignoring is the best?
How do I stop being resentful towards society.
How do I stop feeling angry at every damn thing I perceive to be wrong with the world? You may say that it's normal to get angry at bad stuff but I get angry at things that modern society is fine with.
I get angry at the rampant cannabis use by young people. I get angry at this consequence-free promiscuity going on everywhere. I get angry at the faggots and their pride parades. I get angry at all the minorities getting special privileges. I hate the political system, I hate fashion trends, I hate the media, I hate the majority of modern culture, I hate what the internet is turning into… so many things.
I am full of resentment and I don't want to be this way. My entire worldview is shaped not by the things I'd like to see happen, but by the things (and people) that I despise and I feel that I'm too far gone to undo this.
It probably also doesn't help that my life has been largely devoid of love and positive emotions for as long as I can remember.
Family desperately wants to drag me back into wagecucking
>24, virgin, autistic as fuck
>Graduate at 18
>Work a bunch of shitty jobs for next the few years only to get layed-off/fired at each one
>Finally land a "good job". Doing CAD design
>Eventually become company engineer after other guy quits
>Automate tons of things, saving Mr. Shekeljew tens of thousands of dollars
>Ask for something better than $17/hr
>But anon, youre young and you dont have a degree. I have no reason to pay you anything.
>Finally get sick of his shit and walk out the next day
>6 months later
>Have become aware of the NEET lifestyle
>Have had some money fall into my hands so I can get my own business going
>Currently am building a machine that will literally turn a profit within the next 2 weeks
>Constantly getting calls from mom
>"ANON! You NEED to get a job"
>"You have to move out of your dad's house"
>"Here, this shitty back-breaking (((job))) pays $13/hr part-time. You should have no problem paying rent and bills with that"
>*Practically ignores business that I am currently starting*
>Dad also constantly hounding me with shitty jobs he sees on craigslist
>I've already been through this a bunch of times
>Ill take the shitty job, do OK for about 6 months, realize I'm pissing my life away only to enrich Mr. Shekelgoldbergstein while getting barely enough to eat, and eventually quit or get fired, and end up in the same spot im in right now.
Why must wagecucks force us to become like them?
sobriety and suicide
So I stopped drinking (1-2 wine bottles / night over 5 years) and after just under a week I feel tons of energy, clear headedness, the lack of balance on my feet is gone. But now with the clear head I feel less emotional and more confident and clear thinking about suicide. It's not a dramatic or fearful feeling like it was when I thought of it before. I'm not saying this wont change in another month or 5 months etc of sobriety, but it's really like the fog cleared and oepened the way for this
Has anyone experienced this before? I don't want to explain my life situation, just broach this specific issue (sobriety / unemotional assuredness of suicide)
Anyone dealt with a partner not wanting sex until after marriage?
I've been going out with this girl for about 6 months now, we've had some discussions about the relationship. She at some point talked about not wanting to cage me and saying that if I found someone else, she'd be fine with it; of course, the same would apply to her. I convinced her to not open our relationship, kinda. She still doesn't like referring to it as 'dating', because she feels 'caged', but we are exclusive.
Two days ago, she talked about not wanting sex until after she got married. We've done some stuff, she's received oral and I've touched her to, presumably orgasm, but she refuses to even see my penis, let alone touch it or suck it.
From what I've gathered this is a religious matter, but she just said it 'feels right'.
Now, we're both virgins, but there's a big age difference between us (19, 29). I really feel like I love her and that I could probably wait, but there's also this feeling of having already waited for so long, and I just can't keep myself from thinking about it when we're together.
I don't know what to do. I feel like it'll be bad either staying or going. Like I'd either be a monster that only wants sex and throws away potential life-partners because he's not getting it or an idiot that bends over backwards to accept everything she wants because I'm scared of being alone.
Hello guys. Some things in my life have recently come up, and I've neglected this board.
However, I still believe in the mission. If anyone wants the username and password to the mod account, please shoot me an email to firstname.lastname@example.org expressing your interest.
Basically, all you have to do is convince me that you care about this board and that you want it to survive. If you can refer to past posts that you've made, that would be good as well.
Plus, if you just need someone to talk to, let me know. I'm here for you all. We're gonna make it ;-)
>make about 1250$ a month
>spend about 1200$ on bills a month
>clothes and shoes falling apart
>can barely feed myself
>in more and more pain as i work as my shoes become tatters and i cant afford any medical care to see if there's any issues
>had no time to actually save to get a cheap car, current one was wrecked
>had to settle on whatever the dealership would give me RIGHT NOW
Would it just be easier to kill myself lads?
"friends" with a severely depressed guy for five years
For five years, I've hung out with a severely depressed person.
He is mean, stubborn, often unresponsive, unhelpful, selfish, … unwilling to get help.
We have no common interests and nothing to talk about because he does nothing all day.
I care about him a lot and I don't know why. I abandoned him for a year once recently and I missed him so I came back.
He tells me he loves me and I believe him. I know he cares about me but his disability prevents him from showing it or doing jack shit for me. I can't even call him a friend but I love him and he loves me, too.
I don't even know what sort of advice I'm looking for here.
There is absolutely nothing I can say to him that will make him get treatment. I have tried. Do not waste my time.
Why do I care about him? Should I force myself to tell him to fuck off forever?
depression makes some people inhuman
so my landlady is kicking me out in about a week, and i still haven't found a decent place to stay
i can always leave all my stuff at relatives in the city, but ideally we'd just leave it where i'm gonna be living rather than leave it at one spot and months later move it again when i'm back for the next semester
i've been searching through different sites today and considering that i'm on half the budget people my age usually are, i'm only finding shit that's already been taken, or shit that's on the edge of the city which would kind of be a problem considering i need to actually get to my lectures on time
wat do, do i try and get the ones that are too far?
and i'm talking like an hour long travel distances with a car, and i don't have a car
How do I get over my fear of failure and really low self-esteem?
I hate myself and constantly punch myself while reminding myself of my failures as well as my parents reminding me of how much of a loser I am for not following through in trying to become an actuary and making $100,000 to $300,000 from the start.
I'm scared of getting hurt.
About a year ago I met an amazing guy thru a fucking gay board and we hit it off really well. He asked me out about 8 months ago, and it's been amazing ever since. We prepared for a con so that he could come up to where I live (He lives in OH I live in Ontario, Canada). Passports and all that shit. So excited.
We finally met about a week ago and I can honestly say I've never felt so much love for a person in my life.I've dated before but it was just… It was overwhelming. Between actually feeling loved for who I am and not being pressured to lose weight or change my personally, I think i've fallen extremely head over heels for him. It was the best 5 days of my life from the time I picked him up from the airport to the time I brought him back. Leaving him at the airport was probably t he hardest thing in my life- He was late for his flight so I couldn't kiss him goodbye. I stood at the gate and watched him walk out of my sight through snot and tears.
I've dated guys before, but I've never felt so strongly about someone. How do I go about surviving now? Whenever I wake up I think I feel him against me- holding me, but he's not. I catch wiffs of his cologne off of my travel bag, I feel him wake me up from night terrors only to be alone in my room. I've been crying every night since and I can't sleep.
I guess TLDR I love this man so much I'm scared of getting hurt. It already hurts just being away from him. Whatdo?
it's around 4 am and i just spotted a giant cockroach on my floor, it was like an inch long or so
smashed it with a shoe till it could no longer walk, but the think is still moving
i put it in my trash bag and figured that that would be the end of it, but the fucking thing is still alive and making noise in there even though it's legs should be broken
i can't just go outside to throw the trash out in the middle of the night, and i can't sleep with this fucker in here
Should I just give up?
I don't trust people. I can't, really. I can't see a single reason to trust them anymore. I'm naturally clingy and caring, at it seems like society's only goal is to hurt those like me. So I built up a defense around myself, an attitude of dismissal and mistrust in every conversation.
Should add that I'm incapable of IRL conversation anymore, and this mistrust is directed towards online communities, where I can still sort of converse.
This basically makes it so that I, unsurprisingly, have no friends. And part of me wants them, but everything in my mind is saying that any attempt at companionship will only end with me being hurt.
Even if I wanted to less of an asshole, even if I wanted to be nice, I can't anymore. It feels so fake, feels like, by treating people nicely, I'm lying to them. And lying is one of the reasons I can't trust society, a big reason I despise them. I want to be better than that. I don't wanna wear a facade, I don't want people to befriend an empty shell of me.
I just want to find someone trustworthy, but it seems impossible.
Should I just give up and swallow the bullet?
First time posting here, but I feel like a goddamn mess. I can't do anything creative like draw or anything else that's artistic. My imagination used to be good, but it's slowly died. I can't work with my hands to build or make something. I'm not all that bright even if I did graduate with a degree in actuarial science. I still wonder how I managed that. Most of all, I often freeze up if there's a chance of failure. I'm depressed most of my days, hate myself, constantly call myself a worthless failure, and end up spending most of my time after work just sitting or laying around and doing nothing or mindlessly ticking away at a puzzle.
Is there any way for me to reliably fix myself or get over my fear of failure? Or should I just suck it up and kill myself already?
How to deal with jealousy?
I went to a bar with my girlfriend and she danced with a clearly gay dude. He knew how to dance and so does she - I've not had any classes. They danced very close together - kind of lambada, something like that - and did some moves and shit.
I felt like it should've been me making her feel great there. My first instinct is to learn to dance so that I can do that.
I've never had a girlfriend before, is this normal? How do I squash the feeling? Why the fuck am I thinking this over a gay guy?
Open relationships I guess
So I've been going out with this girl for almost three months now, and I was struggling with whether or not I should ask her about us being serious partners - you know, defining the relationship. I decided to postpone that, and, last friday, she asked me some questions to seemingly scan my opinion on open relationships.
"I watched this video on youtube about a couple that has an open relationship, it's pretty interesting". She asked what I thought about it, and I told her my first reaction to it is negative; I've not been in a serious relationship before and the longest one I had before her was about a month long.
"Well, I think I couldn't do that, being held up to just one person." I didn't answer after that, I kept quiet because I was burning up inside. It wasn't really rage, just shock at what I heard and a sense of impending doom.
Anyways, a week before that, I was introduced to this girl by a friend. One of them told me she was definitely into me, laughing at every joke, etc. I hadn't noticed because I was still in the middle of deciding to postpone my question about defining the relationship.
So, after that, she asked me to her birthday party, with just a couple of people that were my friends. I went there this monday, after my date had told me about the open relationship thing. We drank quite a bit - about three pints of beer - and ended up making out a bit twice, we didn't have much alone time with our friends there.
She mentioned something about us going out to drink some other day, which I don't really know if 'us' meant me and her or our friends as well.
The weird part is I thought doing this would make me feel like absolute garbage, like scum. I believe the fact that my date kind of dismissed the importance of our relationship has to do with that. This made me think of maybe going with the open realtionship stuff.
I don't really have a specific question for you guys (and gals) or anything, I just need some experience talk and some general advice on stuff like this. Thanks in advance.
My older brother is married to a hag that cost him his job and his mental health. Their constant problems have been a nonstop drain on the finance of my parents and myself.
My younger brother is getting a masters in art, but he's having trouble getting recognized because he's starting to encounter the SJW element present in the art world. Because his work isn't blatant anti-Trump bullshit or feminist vagina art, he's getting passed over by a lot of big galleries.
I'm working fulltime and getting decent pay, and living at home is saving me a ton of money, but only I can't afford to live on my own in this shitty state. Even shitty apartments will run 1k a month plus utilities, effectively leaving me in a position where it would be impossible to save up enough money to eventually move somewhere nicer.. and if I move somewhere else, that means giving up the only good job I've ever had or losing more of my life to commuting.. Which I can't fucking do because I've developed some fucking fatigue condition that leaves me so fucking tired after a day of work that I start dozing at the wheel with only a 30 minute commute.
I want to quit everything and go live out in the middle of nowhere with my meager life savings and be a NEET, but if I leave home, I'm essentially fucking over every single person in my family, because I'm their fucking safety net.
Does anyone here have any helpful advice on getting rid of a fetish? And I mean an actual fetish in the sense that it's something I absolutely need and I can't get off to anything else. Everything I've read online in regards to the issue is just a variation of "juts b urslef :^)" and I'm getting pretty tired of this shit.
This fetish of mine, at least in part, has ruined my life and is continuing to do so. It's degrading, depressing, humiliating, extremely unhealthy, and the simplest, most innocuous little things can set it off, which is even further tormenting because I'm trying to stop masturbating like a sex-crazed teenager, and it's pretty hard (haha fuck you) to do that when I can find arousal just about anywhere. In addition, it has pretty much guaranteed that I'll never have a healthy relationship due to the nature of it. I've had the fetish for as long as I can remember, since before I was even old enough to know what my dick was for besides pissing, and it's played a large role in shaping who I am today, which believe me, is really not a good thing. I'm not going to tell you exactly what it is because it's not particularly important for the topic at hand, but I will tell you it's not cuckoldry, since I know that's probably the first thing you thought of. It's not much better though.
tl;dr, All you need to know is that I hate this shit and I want it gone from my life for good.
So can anyone help me? Any similar personal experiences you can share, any books you can recommend? Sheer willpower alone isn't cutting it for me, if it were just refraining from jerking off to the stuff then I'm sure I could manage, but I want to go to the root of the problem and erase the desire itself completely. I want to be attracted to normal things.
Getting killed by pity.
Here is a new one folk. I am getting suicidal thoughts for getting unwarranted pity.
I am nothing special, just a regular fall guy when shit breaks apart. Hard works, pushing myself to limit, withstanding tides of bullshit and blame are nothing new to me. I can still stand strong after that, but what baffles me is that I want to eat a bullet every single fucking time anyone shows pity to me.
Why. Fucking why. Why pity for me who blazes through all this bullshit, this is spitting on my finest hour, my efforts, my willpower. I do not even want praise, I just want to be left alone and hope that other can own up their shit soon because even I would like some extra free time. I start thinking of fading away to see how shit unfolds when things break apart and the guy who solve everything is pushing daisies, not because he cannot take that shit any more, because of pity.
I do not want consoling, remunerations, fucking hell. Not even sex for solace, especially if it comes from pity. I am teetering on the edge right now, if I see one more pity from my peers, hopefully I will not end up a chalk mark and make the news tomorrow.
What happened to me?
I know this type of thread is probably posted here all the time, so sorry in advance if this annoys anyone but What happened to me? What happened to my motivation? I have none. The fact that I am even writing this out is frankly amazing me. I have no drive or initiative, I can barely even force my self to do necessary bodily functions like eat or go to the bathroom, I just lie in my bed almost all the time. I don't even do anything! I don't jerk off or go online or play games, I. Just. Sit. There. I don't know why and I don't know what to do or how to fix it. If any of you went through this in the past, have any tips on how to fix this, or anything else that could possibly help me in any way please share… I'm so tired of being like this I just want to be able to do things again but physically can't bring myself to do them
Mine and bf's one year anniversary is in three weeks or so, and I don't think I deserve to stay with him.
He's older, smarter, way more talented and can actually get shit done. Meanwhile, I have severe social anxiety, can't hold a job, will probably fail high school and have mental breakdowns every day.
He's willing to work hard, so that I wouldn't have to and could stay at home, but I don't think I'm good enough for him.
I just want to be better for him, but I don't really have any skills of any kind. What can I do to be better?
Are we dead?
I remember when, before the April hax, this board was alive and well. It was so nice to have a relatively constructive place to bring up things most would rather not hear, IRL or otherwise. Now there's 3 posts a day at best. Why was it abandoned so easily? What is needed to bring this place back?
"Culture affecting relationships
As of late, I find it increasingly difficult to form relationships with other people, be it women, or friends, due to a striking difference in "culture," if you will. By culture, I mean all of the experiences, interests, memories, and even dumb jokes that were had for the majority of my life on the internet, or as a reclusive fellow with esoteric interests. Assuming that others are/were in a similar position I am, how does one deal with it?
Women generally come from very different backgrounds, so bonding with them feels inorganic. My past relationships never dove into the autism of fandom, or searched for new and interesting music. I become miserable when I attempt to suck it up and integrate normally. Past girlfriends try very little to show interest in the giant amount of vidya, VN's books, music that I enjoy - despite my attempt to show interest in what they enjoy. I don't know if it's the difference in our backgrounds that could be used for bonding, or what to do.
The same somewhat extends towards friends and acquaintances. I try and hold onto relationships, but eventually the lack we have in common takes its toll. There is different jargon, movies, videogames, sports, (the generic junk) etc. I try to join friend groups, but eventually I get excluded from a conversation in one way or another e.g. regurgitation of “dank memes” or talk about some garbage form of entertainment that was on Netflix. It just makes me miss the past where I’d blissfully play games and talk about them with online friends, who sadly all moved on for unrelated reasons.
I don’t want to just complain that I don’t fit in with normies; rather, I want to hear what others do or have done. It isn’t that people don’t like me, or I absolutely don’t fit in with others; it’s that I never really feel close to any of these people. As of now I haven’t any online friends at all to relate to either.
Sorry for the big ass blogpost.
>tl;dr how do anons experience relationships?
I feel like I'm going crazy
My mind is really fucking with me right now and I can barely explain it. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like there's voices in my head but they're really vague and far off and barely noticeable. They aren't auditory hallucinations, I'm not hearing anything that isn't there, it's just like, mental disturbances, intrusive thoughts which enter without my consent. They don't effect my actions or anything I do or anything. Fuck this is difficult to explain. Like every now and then when I'll be working on my computer, I'll get these faint and far off voices, like the usual voice inside your head when you read something or think something to yourself, but just doing it by itself.
It's fucking with me real hard.
Some background on my mental health:
I'm super stressed out, all the time. And it's been that way since I started high school. I was always depressive and anxious and I know now it's because of all of that. A year after I graduated, I finally gave in to my mother's advice and let her take me to a psychiatrist which went exactly how I expected it to. He diagnosed me with major depressive disorder and general anxiety which I suspected was complete bullshit. I took 3 different SRIs and had enough of it after 6 months and stopped going. My mother has always known about my mental health tendencies and deals with the same depressive personality, so she told me that people "like us" don't really have a feel for what's psychologically normal, and I somewhat believe her, but I don't know why my mom and these doctors keep trying to convince me that I have a mental disorder, maybe if all these depressive people would stop carrying around their depression and anxiety around like it's part of their identity and who they are it might lessen their symptoms and allow them to move towards some sort of catharsis or something, I don't know. But I know my problems are because of the stress of constant change all of my recent life. I've always had to move from place to place and start over, I've never gotten used to one place. Always going job to job and having to readapt constantly, whether it's due to moving or life just hitting me with bullshit and having to deal with it. It's always messed with me somehow.
This sort of thing has happened before, which was what the final straw that made me see a psych in the first place. At one full time job, I felt mentally disturbed all the time, no other way to explain it, just disturbed. Since I didn't have a car, I would walk everywhere, but never more than a two mile walk or else I would just feel..weird. I would come home and just feel so fucking strange that I would just stop going there. The gym for example. One night, I had to walk all the way home from work, and the entire way home I felt so fucking bizarre the entire time. My own neighborhood seemed so out of place and weirdly unfamiliar and foreign, in such a way that made me feel disturbed. When I finally got home and entered my garage, I felt like I'd never been there before, my family seemed like strangers, like I was entering the home of a stranger in a place I'd never been. Note, that's just how I felt, I was perfectly lucid and still am. I was just so surreal, I felt almost detached and disassociated with myself and my surroundings. It was frightening. I remember feeling so distressed that I straight up prayed to God and I never had such disturbances since. Never knew what to make of that.
But now it's happening again, not full blown like in that story, but it's fucking with me a lot. Schizophrenia was always my fear since then. To myself, I'm an intelligent person, and to others as well, not that I'm boasting or better than anyone else, I'm simply saying that I can make use of myself to myself and that makes things easier for me and I don't want to lose that.
Please tell me that it's just compounding stress that's causing these disturbances.
How do you survive homelessness?
I won't write a big sob story but I'm getting kicked out of my house soon, no friends or relatives to rely on, I got no car, just lost my job some days ago and I only have $700 or so in savings.
I'm not hooked on anything and don't even like drinking, but it's still a scary prospect as a 20 year old.
How do I do it /qq/?
my GF is a sub, but she doesn't want to have REALLY rough sex like i do, and every time i ask her she tells me that i wasn't rough enough and want to be treated like a sex doll, and an "alpha male". if i go rough as i want she tells me that i was "aggressive" and i did things that she dislikes she told me to use her like a sex doll. she doesn't want to be punished when she disobeys me.
i'm so in love with her that i would go sub, and i would obey her in everything she tells me to do, and i will let her do anything to me that doesn't involve my genitals, i have fear of being sterile and can't raise a family with my DNA
but she doesn't want me to be sub, she wants an alpha male.
she have low self-steem and constantly complains about how she is not "perfect" for me and how she dreams about being perfect (having bigger tits, being taller, etc., i love her how she is, she is perfect to me)
my question is… what the fuck does she want? when we talk about this i feel like she says something when she wants another thing.
i know this is not about cuckquean, and this thread will probably go 404, but i have no other place to ask and i think this is the more appropriate board to ask this because she says she wants and alpha male, she cares more about my satisfaction than hers and thinks she is not perfect for me like most of you. also /fem/ is broken and dead
i am the OP of that thread where i tell that my GF want to watch me fucking a dude, if the mod delet that thread i will invite her here, she is pretty shy and she will feel very awkward if she reads that
she also told me that she doesn't want to have children, but she would help me to find a woman who wants to have because she only wants to see me happy, even when i told her several times that having a relationship with her is a priority over having childrens
Personal Problems, PERSONAL SOLUTIONS
People of /qq/.
It has been long overdue that I suggest to you this man and his work.
We are about personal issues here, well this man offers PERSONAL SOLUTIONS.
I highly suggest checking out his material so that we may ALL become more than the sum of out personal issues.
>Bachelor Pad Economics
i need new friends.
long story short i used to be a shut in, but that was ok because i had people on IRC and Discord/Skype and shit that i talked to. Then about 2 years ago I started to become a normie with a large group of IRL friends. I was ok with that shit for a while, in fact it was quite nice. But now its all fucked up and i dont really have anyone anymore.
Im pretty cool even if i do say so myself, really into music, diy electronics and computers.
add me on discord if you want nae5#9001
anyone else too confused with life to continue?
>failed exams from last semester, haven't studied for them at all during this one
>failing current semester subjects because lack of interest/lazyness
>not looking for a job because i have absolutely none of the required skills in my field
>fucked up sleep schedule
>no ambitions because anything i can think of takes too much time and effort
>can't drown my sorrows in alcohol because i don't like the flavor of anything other than water and coffee
Is pedophilia curable?
I have looked up information online, but there does not seem to be any consensus on the idea.
For as long as I can recall, I have always had a sexual attraction towards the young and younger. I had no real idea of what my thoughts meant until I was becoming a teenager, and my lack of caring caused me to indulge in these thoughts often (by which I mean looking at unsavoury material, never performing such acts). Though I have never acted upon these thoughts as an adult (besides searching certain images of "models" on occasion), the fact remains that these thoughts are there, and I can't stand them. I feel intense regret and depression after relieving myself using those images. And even though I know it always happens, there are times that I simply stop caring for the sake of quicker gratification, just because I've become so tired.
I've been worn down. I don't want to do this anymore. I've attempted a few times in my life due in large part to this mental malady of mine. I've told precisely 3 people in my life, none of them family, about this problem, and even though they still care for me and support me, I still can't help feeling it's undeserving. Or that it's fake. My self hatred is so great that I can't even believe anyone would ever stand by me if I ever tried to seek help. I'm so paranoid about what people would think, what they would say, what they would do to me if they ever found out. How would they look at me? Would they ever trust me again? Could they ever believe I'm a good person? And more importantly, am I really?
I don't know what to do anymore, or who to turn to. I don't even know where I would start to find help. A large part of me just keeps saying it's easier to pull a trigger than to have them know what's really in my mind, regardless of whether or not I have ever committed a crime. Is there even a cure? Or even a feasible treatment? Do I have any option other than suicide? Because I don't think I can live with myself anymore if there's not.
I am someone who is tired of living in a nordic country. Don't get me wrong, the benefits are very good here and the country offers one of the best worker's rights on the planet, but it's so goddamn boring. I'm getting depressed by this place and I came to the conclusion that I needed to start a fresh chapter in my life.
So what I had in mind was, after I graduate as a software engineer, I'll work in Japan to see how it fits me (I'll first work a few years in my country to acquire experience before moving to Japan)
I like the idea of living in Japan because of:
Its nature (Big part)
Its social norms (basically mind your own business and be polite)
Now, there are things that I've heard that are bad such as the cancerous bootlicking culture (12+ hours a day at work etc)
Can anyone fill me in with what I should expect in working in Japan? (I've just started learning Japanese on the side)
SEX and advice
This shall be the designated sex thread
Has anyone else had sex with fat girls? How is it for you? Especially if you are much fitter and taller, does anyone else have trouble with keeping it in at any other angle that isn't doggy or reverse missionary?
One problem I have is that my girl can't do much besides reverse missionary. Doggy is hard due to the fact she is so short and her legs are so short, she's 5 foot and I'm 6'1. On my knees its almost impossible so she has to angle herself on something all the time and sometimes that makes it harder on me because I cannot just plow away, I have to also angle myself and try not to hurt her.
On top of this, my girl cums way too fast and finishes far sooner than I do and she's done afterwards, making it all that much less enjoyable.
is this sexual abuse, if not, what is it?
I think I've been repressing some shit for years. I think I mayhave been sexually abused, or otherwise subject to emotion incenst, but I don't really know if what happened qualifies as such. If it does, then it would help clear up the issue, and
Around age 4, which is about the earlier time I have for clear occurances, when I would take a bath, my mother would monitor how much water I actually used. She limited me to about 1 inch of depth near the drain. The tub was a regular sized tub, so the water concentrated around the drain, but still, the water got cold pretty quick. She would sit there, directly opposite the tub, and I would I try to make a lot of suds and 'cover up', or maybe hide? I remember that I felt very uncomfortable. She would always "do her makeup" as she called it around that time. -she didn't wear any cosmetics- and every few days she would say "I'm not watching you."
Maybe around age 10, when I took showers and until until the age of 16, she would always seem to 'just have' to do certain chores while I was in the shower, like folding towels, puting hanger on the laundry, or to change her clothes, etc.
This happened every day, every single time, no exemptions. and she would always say the same line. "I'm not watching you."
This was a big 1980s bathroom, with mirrored siding closet doors. There was no angle at which the shower stall couldn't be seen. She had the entire day to do this shit. When I was sick and couldn't go to school [normally I was forced, but my sister always got to stay in… even if she just didn't feel like going] it became more and more evident that all she did in the daytime was sleep, smoke weed in the bathroom on the toilet/in her bedroom, and watch TV… for 7 hours.
But without fail, she would find that 15 minute shower-time window open to do something in the back bathroom. She wouldn't even knock. I could hear her coming from the sound of the door down the hall that had to be opened to go back there.
She never did that with my sister. I felt really invalidated and just… violated.
Does that sound like sexual abuse? If not, is there a specific form of abuse that mirrors this?
Why is it hard to let go of your bullshit past?
Mine's only trivial shit, nothing like the monumental problems a good portion of you lad(ie)s hold inside your mind.
Yet, my mind makes the most idiotic pointless thing, such as a person holding their eyes closed in conversation for more than a second as something that I should kill myself over.
It was worse in Senior High, I finally started to grasp my conscious mind as I neared adulthood, but made more mistakes that I am able to remember.
Why does my brain make monuments of molehills? I shouldn't feel this lost over such minuscule things, but attempts to train myself have yielded more moments to reflect on for suicidal considerations.
Forgive me for drunkposting. I'm listening to a jewtube 90's music playlist and getting I'm getting emotional.
I can't stop thinking about how fundamentally different my perception of the world was as a kid. I suspect it has something to do with not judging everything. e.g. I remember as a kid learning to read, riding in the car looking out of the window at billboards and realizing that now that I knew how to read, I wasn't able to look at it as just shapes. I couldn't help but read any words that I saw.
When mystics or Eckhart Tolle whoever talk about enlightenment, are they talking about returning to this kind of state of no-judgement and have any anons experienced this as adults?
I used to be a healthy, effervescent kid, always curious, enthusiastic. Now, although I'm not diagnosed I'm pretty sure I have anhedonia/avoidant personality disorder. Is there a way to return to that state as default or somehow incorporate it into adult life?
>kicked out of Brown for having sex in his dorm
>dad kills himself shortly afterward because his business tanked, probably because his son would likely be a failure in life too
>left with failing advertising company
>makes enough money to buy a couple of failed Atlanta radio stations
>sells everything to buy a cable tv station
>names it WTCG (for "Watch This Channel Grow")
>buys up rights to old televisions shows because they're cheap and constantly plays them as an alternative form of family entertainment to the limited channels during those days
>needs to have the channel classified at news, so airs fake news at strange hours in the morning that basically parodies the superficial talking heads of the day
>channel turns into a huge success
>develops Turner Broadcasting System (TBS), which would eventually grow to include CNN, TNT, HLN and Cartoon Network.
>CNN tanks, he loses large portion of his fortune and a grandchild in the same year
>to top it off, his wife leaves him too
>manages to recover and is now the second largest landowner in the United States (was the first until 2011)
>throughout the years founded the Atlanta Braves, created Captain Planet and has had a major influence on global politics through his donations to the UN
>all for a college reject whose dad killed himself
The Current Generation
I don't know why, but I hate current generation of people, fucking hate the new music, singers, movies, movie stars and popstars, everything seems too fucking faggy and shitty.
I tryed to accept everything, but I can't! I don't know, everything doesen't seem's to be as good as was in past……
Even the past gay singers look more straight then actually the current straight ones.
The woman look so bitchy and unnotural then were in past, everything is to damn facke and shitty.
It's like everything's changed and still changing in a bad way. Am I the only one who feel this way?
Does anyone else feel like they’re stuck in quicksand?
I just want a good enough job that I can move out and start a life for myself. I’m 22 years old and I’ve only managed to have two jobs in all five years since graduating.
I’m an introvert and I know that severely hurts my ability to get part time work. Sales and retail are literal hell for me. I tried to tough it out but I’ve found that instead of magically transforming into this social butterfly that normies expect me to, I become violent, bitter, and standoffish. I make my own corner and recede into it.
I left my last job after they continuously cut my hours to the point I was only working one day a week. Getting there nearly cost as much as what I made in a day so I decided to cut my losses and leave.
I get accused of being lazy and entitled by older people while putting out hundreds of job applications a week. They tell me go to there in person, ask for an application, etc etc. I do this and I just get told to apply online.
A lot of the cushier retail jobs like Walmart, Sam’s Club, Home Depot, and Lowe’s seem to have a hiring bias against young people. All these same people screwed my the recession close ranks around each other an then look down on us for being lazy, entitled, and having unrealistic expectations.
I’m lazy and entitled for not getting the jobs they screw me out of. Then I’m lazy and entitled for being miserable in a food service job that doesn’t even cover car payments. I logged all my job applications in a spreadsheet and my mom didn’t even bother to look at it.
I’m starting to grow bitter. My world view is growing increasingly jaded and cynical. I find the riots happening on campuses and in ghetto neighborhoods refreshing and annoying. Amusing because I get to see the older generations reap what they’ve sown. Annoying because all these groups—BLM, ANTIFA, etc. They’re all corporate tools. They’re rebels without a cause and most of them don’t even realize it.
I hope the boomers start to die off soon due to their shitty diets and outdated work ethic so I can actually get the ball rolling. Right now it only feels like the harder I try the worse off I become.
How can I become more social?
I'm not a shut in neet, I have a full time job, in decent shape, and while not attractive, certainly not ugly. yet I just can't talk to people. I have no friends, no love life, and it bothers me to no end, yet I can't help but be quiet as hell around others, which I know makes things awkward as hell, other people probably think I'm weird or a freak or something.
Well I got an MS - Now what?
I have no one to turn to for help but to this mongolian cable knitting board, /qq/.
I'm a 28 year old autist who got my Master's of Science last May in geology, and have been looking for a job since. I don't think I'm doing it right. I keep getting told to apply online, but I never hear back from anyone. I've tried "networking", but they tell me to apply online, then I wait a week and call back, and they say they don't want me because I have no field experience. I tried to get an internship during my grad school, but the same thing happened then as is happening now. I don't know how I'm supposed to get my foot in the door to get experience. I've done lab research for nearly 9 years in university. Did I pigeonhole myself into an academic career? I didn't even want to be in university that long, and I fucking hate it here. Just someone please either give me a job or tell me how you're supposed to get one, because I'm ready to kill myself with no challenge, health benefits, or vertical movement in my current $12/hr job. I can't start a family on this shit.
It feels like there's some kind of in-joke that I'm not getting with fucking job searching and networking. I don't even know what to do about networking, everyone keeps telling me to use linkedin and I even made a skeleton FB page for myself with normie memes about cats and shit so they can spy on me and think I'm not a paranoid autist. I don't know what else I'm supposed to be doing. My husband has been riding my ass hard lately, he says I should be doing more and he'd be doing so much more than me if his parents had given him the opportunity to go to university. But when I ask "what else should I be doing then?" he tells me he doesn't know and that I should know, because I have the degree, not him. I don't know, however. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing or what I'm supposed to be doing or what I'm supposed to know so I can know what I'm doing.
Sympathy for the less fortunate
This board seemed the most appropriate to vent about these thoughts I've had. I would like to say that this post is not really meant to be political.
Homelessness is a problem. In California, where I live, it's probably the worst in the country and it is especially bad in the city I live in. In the area I live, there's a lot of money. Think liberal, rich, pc, smug. Now I'm not rich, but my family doesn't struggle. I'm young, have never had to go hungry, have a roof over my head, etc. I've had adversity in my life, but for the most part it has been relatively mellow.
These homeless people you will see downtown in my city. Not many in my area. When I do see them, though, I have quite a deal of sympathy for them. It bothers me. Especially considering that people who don't have to deal with it just don't care. This materialistic society I live in continues consuming, acting oblivious to not only people suffering around the world, but people right next to them.
I've decided that soon I'll volunteer for a soup kitchen or something similar. Does anyone else feel this way? It has been bothering me a lot recently.
I want to be more productive but can't manage it.
For one, I don't feel pride for what I do. I have a want to create but feel like everything I do is shit. Even when I look at my past works I should feel proud of or when I get compliments from friends or fans, I don't feel a reaction. There's been times where people asked me to show them what I do or recognized my work, but I hesitate to respond.
I also often feel like I don't know what the hell I'm doing when I'm working, so I get discouraged. This is probably part of why it's incredibly hard for me to produce content consistently. I've noticed I haven't been able to get into flow states as much as I used to when I was a teenager.
To add on top of that, I feel guilty when I'm not creating something. I often waste my time browsing 8ch or checking my contacts for no good reason and it stresses me out, but at the same time I seem to be afraid of starting something new, so I end up in this sick cycle. I'm still relatively young but I'm not getting any younger, and looking at my peers succeed is making me feel inadequate.
I don't know if these are all the same problem or not, but I gotta change something. My creative work is the only thing I'm any good at.
Any other anons balding? Be it receding hair line, hair loss starting on the crown of your head, or thinning hair on top. I shave my head every now and then with a Gillette Fusion ProGlide, but it's a hassle that takes a while. Also razor bumps even if I moisturize. If I grow it out any longer than a buzzcut, I'm visibly balding on top though. I don't want to waste my money on some shit like Rogaine. I'm cool with being bald, I just want a more convenient way to shave. There are electric razors designed for scalps (Bald Eagle Skull Shaver) but I'm not sure if it's worth the money as I've seen mixed reviews.
tl;dr, any balding anons know any good alternatives to shaving your head with a normal razor?
Want to move out but no one is like me
So I want to move out, I'm 22 and have a good savings, my parents let me stay in the house after 18 but I have 9 siblings, all younger so staying is a bit of a challenge.
I've been thinking of moving, as I feel ready.
>full time job
Everything is so fucking expensive in relation to how much I make and save. I make 10 bucks an hour, average rent around here is 700 for a 1 bed and 1 bath. Not counting utilities that come out to 200 usually.
I make 1600 a month before taxes. 800 a week but after taxes it comes out to 650 maybe. Which is not all bad right now as I spend 220 a month on cellphone, rent (50 at parents), a gym membership and car insurance. Than I pocket atleast 275 per paycheck.
But I still qualify and can meet the minimum requirements for a small apartment. I thought about getting some friends or even my girlfriend in so I could live reasonably but none of my friends live or work like I do! My gf is unemployed or only worked shitty under the table jobs part time and lived paycheck to paycheck. My friends either don't have jobs or work part time as well and most don't have cars or girlfriends for that matter.
YET everytime I want to chose the best of my friends to live with me, they have some standard that has to be met, I.E. they must have their own room, nigga, how do you think you should have your own room when you don't even have a full time job!
How am I supposed to get a gf?
I know I could just try to fuck/date every new girl that comes around but 9 times out of 10 they're high-maintenance and bitchy pseudo-narcissists. I want someone kind and compassionate that isn't absorbed into social media. I hate having to put up that hard exterior, and a thot is just one more person I have to guard myself around.
I've really never tried to seriously date before now, I lost my virginity only a month ago to a 5.5/10 greasy beer-slut. How do I meet quality girls?
Inferiority and Homosexuality
I am only speaking for myself here, I do not wish to defame any gays or lesbians who might be reading this. After a bit of introspection, I came to the conclusion that the only reason I am a homosexual is because I felt really shitty about myself back in middle school, and considered several more popular males to be examples of excellence to aspire to. At this time I recall having a highly abortive relationship with a girl, of the sort that is common at that age. However, my feelings about the people I looked up to gradually morphed until I had developed crushes upon them all. I went from desiring a girlfriend for the sake of the relationship itself, to desiring one to be like my idols, to being attracted to them more than any girls. I accepted that I was homosexual at age 13, and so I have remained for 6 years.
A sexuality based upon an inferiority complex, where feeling affection for another is always paired with feeling poorly about myself, always seeing them as better than I, cannot possibly bring me any measure of contentment in life. I would like to get my psycho-sexual development back on the course from which it was derailed all those years ago. I have already deleted all of my porn. How do I proceed, or should I just accept that the damage has been done and resign myself to a lifetime of unhealthy relationships? I could plausibly see a psychologist or something, but I expect that a professional might not grasp the nuance of my situation and just tell me to have more pride in myself.
Ask a successful person anything.
I am a 22 year old and have been extremely successful in life already. Right now I am on course for greatness in a few years time.
However last night I was hanging out with a couple friends who I haven't seen regularly in years and I realized how completely detached from their life experiences I have become. Discovering this board and reading through these threads I am once again shocked at how different my life is to the average anon. This makes my heart ache since it was only about 5 years ago 4chan's /adv/ helped me improve my life in many ways.
I do not come here to brag. What point is that on an anonymous image board? I only come in the hopes that I can help some fellow anons better themselves and set upon the path towards greatness as /adv/ once did for me.
Pic unrelated. It's a great series though.
Dealing with contrasting political views
I have some concerns with my relationship of ~2.5 with my girlfriend. We have opposing political views (Me being rightwing and she being left leaning) and everytime we talk about politics at all, we both end up getting upset. I have no issue with her having left wing views, but she has said that she would have never dated me if she knew that I had my beliefs. The current action I have implemented is to not talk politics at all, even if she starts it (mentions a news article or something) and we seem to be drifting apart. I need to change tactics and I need help.
Thank you in advance
I could use some friendly advise, if anyone feels inclined to give it. I'll do my best to keep this short and sweet, though I'll likely fail like with everything I do.
Basically I'm a thirty year old NEET living in squalor with my aging mother. Our home is a rotting trailer, I think it was closed to fifty years ago when my grand-parents purchased it. It's bad enough we're fairly certain it would be condemned were it ever inspected, and we have no where else to go. No other family to speak of, and no friends who would lend a helping hand. I dropped out from high school due to extreme social alienation and anxiety, and that has been a problem I've had ever since. Our combined income all comes from Social Security-which I have little confidence in for the future. Most of this goes to property taxes which are very high since the land is still in my grand-fathers name, despite his being deceased. The rest goes to bills and groceries. Between the both of us we get by well enough, but the future is beyond bleak. I have no way to get a car, and no real skills to get a decent job. A minimum wage service job would be unlikely to improve things in any way, shape or form. I have no interest in going to college due to their infestation with SJWs and Marxist professors. I doubt I would do any better there than I did in HS at any rate, even if the environment did prove more hospitable.
So what I'm asking you is this: how can I escape from poverty? How can I ascend to some level of self reliance without making my situation even worse? How can I get a good job, applicable skills and a real LIFE? Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I live in the basement of a house. There are 2 bedrooms. I rent on, and the other is currently occupied by a liar.
She moved in 3 months ago. Paid first months rent. Today I found out she hasn't paid Feb or March rent. She claims to have put the money in the mail slot of the landlord(upstairs). The landlord told me he did not receive it.
I have lived here for 5 years, and never had an issue with the landlord. When I was behind on rent, they always understood and worked with me. We have dinner together, and I am now like a son to them. I help them with their computer issues, etc.
They would not lie to me.
So what the fuck do I do? She is sticking to her story about having left the money in the mail slot. I do not want to live with a liar. I e-mailed my landlord explaining what is happening. They do not speak english well so explaining through e-mail is easiest.
Should I talk to the police? Talk to a lawyer? Ask landlord to write up an eviction notice?
I told her that I do not believe her, and that she is a liar. I know my landlord would not lie to me for a few hundred dollars. They are older and don't need the money. They are good people. This bitch is scum.
Any advice would be appreciated. I am thinking about changing the locks and putting all her shit outside. She did not sign a lease. I have never had an issue with my previous housemates paying the rent.
I can't do things quick because I'm retarded! HELP!
I'm trying to understand why it is so hard for me to start doing things.
Like for instance, I've recently began learning how to draw, and so far I've been reading the books and doing every exercice and such, but whenever I come to the actually doing it part I just block, and it takes me considerable time and efford to actually get started. I just stand there thinking god knows what. Maybe I'm thinking "it'll be hard" or "the exercise will take so long, I wonder if I'll have time to do it", but I already knew it would be hard and take long, and I certainly have more than enough time to do it; even when I know it'll not be fun I still feel absolutely motivated to go with it, but still I block. I don't know what to call it, maybe anxiety or maybe a fear of failing or of not giving it my all. It is tiring to say the least, and while part of me feels like I should just stop being a little bitch and press on, another part of me thinks that maybe life shouldn't be so horrible, and that maybe there's something else not helping that I can solve. This also applies to other things I'm trying to learn (I'm also learning how to write, and the same thing happens, exactly the same thing when exercises are concerned.).
I've noticed this usually happens with things I'm not used to doing, and I've heard something about "getting comfortable with being uncomfortable" before. Could I simply be feeling stuck because I'm not used to getting down and dirty? That'd classify me somewhat, to be fair. For example, if I need to read a 1000 page book I just do it, no biggie, but as soon as I have to draw the simplest fucking still life there it is again, that god damn block. Maybe it's because I get the feeling that once I start I can only stop and relax once I'm done, and I'm not used to that?
I don't know, I feel kind of lost here and I just want to fix this already. I just want to know what the problem is, and I'd really appreciate if you guys could help me find out, even if by suggesting some sort of book I could read about the subject or something. Once I know what the problem is I'm certain I can put it right on my own.
So yeah, what do you guys think? Is this a problem of lack of motivation, or a problem of me being a carebear afraid to leave his comfort zone?
>First days on new job
>The company has free transportation
>On the bus I realize some girl keeps watching me and staring me
>My gut tells me that she's interested in me, but my insecurity keeps me from talking to her
>Sometimes I even catch her checking me out, but I still had doubts 'bout it
>End up acting really weird with her, the few attempts to talk to her end badly, or at least that's what I thought
>Some guy on the bus starts to cockblock me sneakily
>By chance they end up working together one day
>He starts sitting with her every day. At first she doesn'r care a lot
>But they seem to start to grow closer. I try to calm down myself thinking that she's just doing it to try to make feel jealous (because I had the paranoid idea that she did that at least 3 times before)
>But they seem to be real closer day by day
>My head tells me that she now has feelings for him, but I have never catched them holding hands or kissing
>But my fucking gut tells me it's just a fucking trap from her, as she still keeps checking me out and giving me glances from time to time
>"She's just pushing you, she's just playing with you, you've seen her talking to him in a suspicious way while pointing at you when she thinks you can't see her", that's what my gut says
>"Anyway, if she's actually now his girlfriend, it means shit, it wouldn't be the first time that some cunt tried to cheat her boyfriend or even her husband with you, right? Hahahahaha"
>Days keep going since, without knowing what is worst: feeling sad because she may now love him instead of him, or the uncertainty of not knowing what the fuck is actually happening, since I'm too scared to know the truth?
Pic related, I truly deserve a beating for doing this kind of stupid drama in my head.
Why do you come here? Do you actually give a shit about what anyone else posts? I'm here because I enjoy breaking down situations to their constituent parts, I enjoy analysing behaviour, I enjoy helping people, and I enjoy having somewhere to post that isn't inundated with people obsessed with cultivating an identity.
I've written what is essentially my condensed life story but I don't want to post it, since I get the feeling that no-one cares enough to read several pages of green-text from someone they'll never meet.
I just want to let it all out...one day...
>Alienated growing up due to quirks and speech delays (Had a decent family though)
>Depression for ~15-20+ years (slowly started in my early teens)
>Depression builds up from what I've seen, heard, read, and experienced in life; a lot of this stuff really twisted my views and thoughts.
>I feel like I wake up to new nightmares on a daily basis
>Disgusted by everyone and everything around me, but also try to remember I'm just as disgusting as a psychotic/chaotic fuck up
>Sometimes I just want to cry, but I can't
>Sometimes I want to take it out on someone, but it won't do me any good even if they deserve it.
I see a therapist, but despite his efforts, I don't think things will get better in the long run (I'll be happy just to live peacefully with my depression if I can't get rid of it). I've also been reading Sartre's philosophical stuff to help me cope and understand what I'm going through. I want to let it out, hoping it would affect the world for better or worse (don't care how at this point), but honestly it seems pointless (sure, I could try to help people, but I lack the emotional and mental strength to help people/animals while I'm just not a supportive person these days).
Girlfriend is obese
I have been dating a girl for over a year now and she has been steadily gaining weight for the duration of our relationship.
I think I love her and I enjoy her company but I am increasingly seeking other women in the form of porn.
At this point she must weigh at least 260 lbs and she is 5'7".
I am not exactly the greatest looking or most fit person myself so I am not exactly relishing the prospect of breaking up with her over this.
In my experience it isn't really possible to change people.
Am I a shitty human being? Should I just accept that this is my life now?
TL/DR: Fat girlfriend. Wat do?
Hi /qq/, I'm a huge faggot and I do not understand how women work.
I've been working in a group with this chick for a few weeks now, and the group work is going to be over next week. We went out once officially, for the rest it was mostly just working and talking.
I don't understand if she likes me. When we were working she was playful in that annoying way women are when the want attention, she keeps liking my pictures on facebook and she seemed really glad to spend time together.
But, when I found her while I was at a club with a few friends and tried to make out with her she didn't want to.
Now honestly, I know how that sounds, but it's not the first time I've met someone that doesn't want to make out while we're both drunk, but then the cynical part of me just tells me that I should stop trying and give up.
What should I do?
I know the best way to go about it should be just telling her that I like her and I want to be more than friends, but I'm a pussy and I have a really hard time doing that if I'm not drinking.
What does anon think? What should I do?
How to deal with introvert potential bf
So /qq/, there's this guy. We met online through Steam and it turned out we're in different departments of the same college. He confessed to me after a month of meeting me and I like him because he's nice to me and we share similar hobbies. He makes beautiful art and is a honors student but he vaguely reminds me of a savant.
The thing is, he's really shy. Like really damn shy. He told me he literally has no other friends and he never had any relationships. I always have to initiate conversations, or send him texts, because he wouldn't. I tried not talking to him for 3 days and he didn't look for me or text me back because he was too shy to approach me.
HOW do I approach him? He's a genuinely interesting and passionate person when it comes to his hobbies but I don't know how to handle him or make him open him up to me. It's a bit painful because I know he wants to talk but anxiety seems to get the better of him.
>oldfag, le midlife frog
>might as well be a 40 y.o. teenager
>went to college, couldn't help but notice it was more about conditionning and filtering than learning, left, fuck your piece of paper assholes
>get warehouse job
>get used to ask bossman permission to go piss
>spend my 20's smoking weed, watching TV and hollywood shit in the evening
>talk to my friends in simpsons quotes
>eventually notice patterns in hollywood shit, realize it's a waste of time and boring as shit
>talk about real stuff, find out i have no friends
>too much of a numale cuckfag to get a meaningful relationship with a gf, fap away to hitomi
>make some music, have some pride for a while, find out ceiling on my talent
>find out without weed i don't care or like music that much
>some money in the bank
>fuck you bossman
>now get a delivery job any 16 years old could do
>no boss, enjoy it, don't need a big wage anyways
>dunno what to do with money, high savings account i guess, not investing before the next big crash you fucking kikes
>could buy a modest house/apt, feels like buying a prison cell to live in, would probably drain all my money, fuckthat.jpg
>grateful to be alive, sunset or beautiful cloud formation can fill my heart with gratitude sometimes
>is that really enough to keep going
>my gene pool had a good run i guess
>maybe it's time to wrap it up and just gas myself
>pope says to stop making children
>should i start a family just to spite him
>have that desire to start a family, love the children that i meet on the road, assuming i can find a worthy mother, lol
>seems cruel to bring children in this world
>despite gratitude towards life, sometimes wish my own parents would have used a rubber and spent the saved money in cuba instead
>no escape from school system, money slavery system, culture indoctrination system, social system for them, for no one
>not to mention WWIII incoming sooner or later
>where to find non-kiked money advice
>what tolerable fields of work can i turn to if i want to start and support a family
>how to turn from a lonewolf cityfag to a man with a real social circle
>where in québec / canada to start a new life
>can i emigrate to usa with just a high school diploma and a bunch of money or is that only an option for mexicans and muslims
>or should i just fuck off to a cabin in panama or thailand and just start smoking weed again
Eyesight and glasses
I really need to get my eyes measured, but I absolutely hate the idea of having to wear glasses.
I've been walking around with this for a good six years now, but my eyesight has been catching up to me the last two year to the point where I really need to get it done. As a result it's been kind of reinforcing my antisocial NEET lifestyle and already rock bottom self esteem, keeping me inside and I feel like it's something that's stopping me from improving myself.
Like a roadblock before I even get to begin.
The obvious solution would be to take lenses, but I honestly don't know if they're worth the hassle.
I'm sure to others this seems like a ridiculous thing to get hung up over, but it's honestly starting to piss me off that something like this is getting to me.
What the hell have I done with my life?
So it's been 8 years since I graduated elementary school, and yet I still have dreams about that time.
I was around so many interesting kids back then, and I was the least athletic and artistic of them all. Needless to say they thought I was the lamest and I was bullied. Nowadays when I look at their facebook profiles and photos and compare their lives at the time of the photos and my own life at the same time one thought comes into my mind: what the fuck did I do during my adolescence?
I of course know the answer: play vidya and be alone. Make no mistake, the bullying stopped after 2 years since I left elementary (so 6 years ago) and I've been well-adjusted ever since. Life has been easy and pleasant and not at all demanding.
Literally all my wishes when I was 14 were granted: my commute to school has never been more than 20 minutes in low traffic, lived in good places, well respected and not bothered by anyone, money is more than enough, got into a good university.
Yet at the core I'm still that kid from elementary school: no creative ability whatsoever, absolutely zero friends (Can't even remember the last time I hung out socially), stay inside all day
I'm tired of being a good person.
I've always strived to be the type of person I wanted to see in the world. I go out of my way to help people when they NEED it because, it has to be done, I don't do it for any personal gain, I dont even get a good feeling from it. A week ago missed the only social event I've had a chance to go to in a very long time, because some illegals decided to run a redlight and t-bone a car a few hundred feet in front of me. Everyone slows and drives around them, as the illegals run off across a field. I was 150 yards from this wreck and when I get there no one was helping. Dozens of people witnessed this crash and of them, a few people were pulled over on their phones. I can see the driver feebly trying to get his door open with blood streaming down his face and no one is helping him. With little thought I pull over, pull out my first aid kit and run through the rain to help this guy, and he is pretty fucked up, bleeding alot from several large gashes in his head, he can't even answer me when I ask him if he's ok, just claws at the door latch. I pry the door open and he immediately grabs my arm with a blood covered hand. Great. By the time the ambulance gets there I've calmed the guy down, I've patched him up pretty well, his bleeding has mostly stopped and I prevented him from getting up and stumbling into traffic, he even manages to tell me his name. When the medics finally roll him away I look like a civil war doctor, soaked by rain and covered in blood. Talking to the cops takes a while, and by the time I get home and take a shower, I notice the party will be over by the time I get there. Fuck me.
Now I even feel like an asshole for bringing this up to anyone, I really helped this guy, what does it compare to a party. But I really needed that party, my life has been shit recently, I live out in the sticks and have very few chances to meet people, and like most people on here I'm depressed, lonely, single, and have little direction in life. This party would of ment alot to me. I find myself wishing I had been like everyone else, and just driven by. I could of told everyone at the party about the crash I saw on the way here. But no, I had to be a decent fucking person and help someone else in need.
This is just the most recent event like this, now I'm not going around and looking for problems to fix or let people take advantage of me. I'm not a white knight in the least. It just seems people have things go wrong around me and no one else will help them, so I do. I'm sure some people think I'm their guardian angel, but thats little comfort when my own life is so empty. I wish karma was real, maybe something in my life would go in the right direction.
I'm not normally this bitchy, I'm just drunk and more depressed then normal. So what do you think, should I just start ignoring shit and try and be like everyone else? Or keep being an idealistic moron?
Scary psycho rapist may hurt people I care about
Is there any advice that couple be given on extreme safety and precautions that could be taken against this sick fuck, online and in person? We fear he may come after my friend, or some of the other boys and girls who have come out against him. Anything and everything is appreciated.
>work at sams club overnight
>part-time but given full-time hours with no benefits or extra paid time off
>forklift driver that gets away with doing absolutely nothing but making the stockers job a living hell, then disappearing from sight for the rest of the night
>physically and mentally exhausted after just a couple days into the week
>dont want to quit cause the pay is actually decent compared to everywhere else (10.72/hr)
what the fuck do i DO about this shit
Starting relationships/First dates
Anyone have any advice for starting up relationships/first dates?
A few days ago I asked out a girl, and she said yes. Originally we planned on going on a date last weekend, but due to some complications on her end we couldn't manage it. We're planning on going out next weekend, but in the meantime I'm still getting to know her and having some brief conversations with her. Any advice on getting to know girls when initially dating them? We're still pretty much strangers.
Meaning of life thread
This thread is for discussing what the meaning of life is, and related subjects.
I saw something which said there are only three main ways to deal with how life is:
>Religion, or something similar
>Embracing the absurdity of life
I'd like to know what you all think as well. Do you have existential thoughts commonly, or are you depressed? How do you deal with life, if you do at all?
my first bf broke up with me 5 months ago and deep down I still miss him despite the relationship being really tumultuous and maybe borderline toxic. I have a crush on a guy right now but I'm scared to talk to him. I don't want to ruin everything like I always do. I'm scared of what happened last time to happen again, and I'm scared of being seen as a slut because I still miss the connection I had with my ex. How do I move on? And should I? Sorry if I'm rambling, I just don't know what to do.
I haven't had real human interaction with other people my age for 3 or 4 years now. I never had strong friendships. I never had a girlfriend. I don't get along with my family whatsoever. I suffer with bad depression and anxiety. I can barely look people in the eye. I have no real skills that can land me a job right now. I can't handle college education. I'd have an anxiety attack in no time. Everyday I think about killing myself or running away from home. But I don't have a car or enough money to travel far. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I wish I could just run away with a nice girl and start over completely.
Trying to break my addiction to porn without wasting time doing nothing.
I don't want to be one of those people who's stuck with a porn addiction and erectile dysfunction in my mid-20s, I'm finding it harder and harder to stave off the urge to pop open a tab of porn and further poison my brain.
I've looked into the NoFap movement, but I feel like I can do something better.
I know there must be some way to improve erection quality through some kind of massage or stretch like jelqing, but I hear some people destroy their dicks doing that crap. I need advice, lads.
Words fail me here...
>Was a nice day, so I went out
>Talked to someone I might see this week before going out. I don't know if it'll work, but whatever. It's not the first time a potential date flopped on me.
>Went for lunch, and said, "fuck it, I'll check out a strip club for some entertainment and a lap dance."
>Go to the club; seems promising after seeing a hot tattooed chick I wanted a lap dance from performed when I walk in.
>Never got the lap dance from said dancer because she only went to horny/lonely old fucks
>Rest of the dancers sucked
>Spent more time talking to a guy about clubs and March Madness than stare at the shitty dancers. We're amazed how a conversation happened at a strip club.
>Also talked to another guy next to me about the place in general.
>Only one dancer tried to get a dance from me, but she wasn't doing a good job enticing me, so I said no (She just wanted to make a quick $20 before she clocked out, and she sounded like a dying Kermit the Frog trying to be sexy). She goes to another lonely old fuck (She was 20-something by the way).
>I left in disappointment.
>On my way home, guild member from a game I play brings up how a Rapefugee creeped up on her in a park in Austria (I'm in the States).
>I'm reminded how the world is shit, my life is shit, and I still have depression (I've been working on trying to live a quiet, decent life with it)
I don't know what's the worse thing about this: feeling rejection and disappointment by people who probably have worse issues than I do at a strip club, or not getting a stupid lap dance. I haven't experienced anything like this in 2 years when I went to some shitty club near one of my old jobs (a stripper would nag for tips even while dancing, and forced herself to be sexy. It was annoying). Other dumb shit happened, but they're not worth bringing up. I don't think the date with someone I talked to will go through, but that's the least disappointing thing for me for some reason.
Diagnosed autist here. I'm on the low functioning side of high functioning, if that makes sense. My intelligence is normal but everything else is so below average that I can't really function without significant help. In addition to autism I have a slew of other problems (like prosopagnosia, alexithymia, anxiety disorders, phobias, obsessions) that make it hard for me to fit in anywhere where there might be other people. I can take care of myself well enough but when it comes to going out and interacting with other people, I really can't do much of anything.
Of course, whatever piece of my brain that allows me to feel desire for human companionship cruelly stays intact. I'm 26 and I want a qt. I don't mind having no friends, I have a dog.
As normalfags everywhere are so keen to remind me, I'm not "entitled to a relationship". Yeah, fine, I can't force qts to fall in love with me. Obviously I have to carry my cross and accept that I'll never have a qt or even that once my parents die, no human on Earth will have any kind of emotional attachment to me. I just don't know how to.
I remind myself of the evil shit women do to men every minute of every hour of every day. But then, there might be exceptions. I try to take comfort in 2D. It generally makes the longing worse. If I were religious I could at least take one of the numerous paths to holiness that include celibacy and delude myself that I'm doing it by choice, but I'm not religious.
I'm at a wit's end trying to deal with this bullshit. I just want the pain to stop. I don't even need to hold a 3D woman in my arms, or hold her hand, kiss her and have sex. I'd be plenty satisfied with an Internet long distance qt. I have no illusions that I am nothing else but a low value male, being an autist. I don't want a 10/10. I only ask that she be good-hearted and not repulsive. And I'd actually prefer her to be ditzy. You know, the girl next door type. All I want is to be loved in that way, feel needed and useful. I feel like I'm not asking for much, just the bare basics of the human experience. But I don't even get to have that much.
So since I'm stuck in that >tfw no gf loop, and that I objectively have zero hope of getting out of it by actually getting a gf, please share some tips to make the longing more bearable.
I'm just so lonely.
I don't have real life friends, everyone my age does - they go hang out every week. I bet they chat about all sorts of stuff, play games together. and I'm stuck at home with an internet connection. Every day for years and years on end.
Sure it could be worse.. I'm grateful for what I do have. but it could be a lot better too. It hurts not having friends. I can't make any friends online because online people tend be weird or just rude and nasty. It just seems like I'm not compatable with other people or online communities and I don't know what to do.
When should I fuck him?
Been talking to this guy since November. Went on a few dates and have hung out a lot. Around February he told me he likes me, thinks I'm cute blah blah the whole spiel. Says he wants to get to know me more.
We Have hung out even more since then and recently things have been progressing from no contact to full make out sessions.
It's nice I enjoy it a lot and his company. I'm looking for a relationship, we talked about it briefly without going to far into details. He told me he's only had casual relationships, had some disappointment in his voice when he told me the last girl he was with didn't want anything serious.
Is this enough information to assume he's looking for a relationship? Would it be weird to bring up a relationship before we have sex? Whats a good time to start fucking? Should I get to know him more? Help, I don't want to ruin this.
No meme responses like "it's up to you when you feel ready blahhh" or "doesn't matter if u fuck the first date or after marriage" please
Should I just fucking kill myself?
Incoming wall of pure, undistilled whiny faggot
>Been a lazy self-hating underachiever my whole life
>Been a NEET for the last 4 years
>Was home-schooled for basically 6 years before that
>Dumb as a rock
>Didn't go to college
>Never had a real job, having no skills, experience, or connections coupled with the fact that I can barely leave my house anymore let alone interact with people makes it kind of impossible to find one
>Don't even have a license
>Haven't had friends since elementary school, family is probably ashamed of me though they try not to let it show
>Never had gf, honestly not sure if I'd want one no I don't want a bf either you fuck
>Probably autistic, would explain pretty much everything
>Don't feel like living anymore
I have no motivation to do anything. Everything seems utterly pointless. I feel like happiness is something that's always going to be out of my reach no matter what and I just want to stop living. I've tried exercising and learning.new skills thinking it would improve my outlook on life or some shit, but before I can even make any real progress I realize that even if I got /fit/ and wasn't a dumbass I'd still just be a socially retarded self-hating loser. Then I have a breakdown involving excessive masturbation and sometimes drinking until I puke. Lately I can't even fucking sleep, since the instant I stop playing pointless video games or binging on dumb anime the negative emotions and regrets come crashing down like an avalanche and I want to scream and put a gun to my head.
I don't know what to do. Is it possible for me to find a reason to continue living or should I just sell all my shit and donate plasma until I have enough money for a shotgun and a single shell?
Looking for a bit of advice for a young fag who has no direction but potential.
>Balance in life is always short lived
>constant swinging all of the place with depression,mood, and general feelings about things
>Probably bipolar (runs in the family along with a whole other list of nutward syndromes )
>Tried therapists a few times but extra young fag then (V& young)
>Always had to bring grandparents in (legal guardians yo)
>They treated me well enough but they had no fucking clue how to deal with mental stuff so the therapists thought I was an attention seeking faggot
>Long story short, no more therapists
>Eventually get put on some weak anti-depressants but stopped taking them
>Don't like taking medication much and at the time I didn't really need them
>But as always shit creeps up
>Motivation and drive come in short bursts that don't last long enough to making anything out of
>Depression and happiness come in short bursts also
>Recently been pretty good
>Got a good GF, madly in love with me
>She has a lot of baggage though (Sexually abusive father, psychotic mother and sister)
>Super nice fag decides to go balls in with support
>She's everyone else's shoulder to cry on
>I become her shoulder to cry on
>shits good for about 6 months
>Moods, depression everything starts coming back again
>Start to become distant from her, a mix of not wanting to hurt her but also me being a selfish prick and just not wanting to be there when I felt like that
>Forgot to mention, long distance relationship
>Currently under the rouse that my computer and internet are fucked
>Creates the space I need to figure things out
>Been about a month
>She gets really worried and starts sending letter (Poor fag so no phone)
>Read them, feel like an awful douche bag
>Can't bring myself to write back
>Generally pulling the typical (Cut, run and don't look back)
>Something that done entire life when things get to hot
>She's told me that if I leave I'll probably be her last relationship
>IIT she'll probably kill herself if I just disappear like usual
>Not a thing want to happen
I've got not balance in life, things are shit, I'm still stuck living with my grandparents, I can't get enough money to go to college and even if I did have it I've not got the drive. Can't decide whether not to kill myself, break up, fuck a trap, or just become a drifter and see where life carries me and hope that some hobo life experience can do a Beyond Two Souls on me. Sorry that this is really incoherent, it's late.
Ok, ok. Ok. I've never ever, ever! Felt the need to post here but I feel like I'm losing my mind?!
I don't even know where to start. My mind is so jumbled. I guess it started two weeks ago at work. I work in a factory, but I don't do the labor, I'm more of a spreadsheet maker/book balancer/secretary type thing. Really informal but it's my uncles company and I needed a job, yadda yadda. Good pay.
I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do, and I hear my boss (not my uncle, just another coworker and a friend of his) go, "Phil sighs as he looks at the weather."
I look up like, huh? And he looks at me like, huh? He didn't say anything. I was like…that's weird. But oh well. Anyway.
And then the next day I was talking to some coworkers on the floor asking them work stuff, and one of them called me a bastard but when I called him out, him and everyone else looked at me like I was insane? I apologized and we all laughed it off. Factory is loud, right? People mis-hear things all the time…
Except, I was at Wal-Mart and one of the workers there was putting away stock and I swear to GOD he looked straight at me and said "The chicken was just killed" but I asked him what he meant and I felt so bad because he looked so confused and like I was crazy?! He hadn't even opened his mouth apparently. Shit like this has been happening so much, my friend even pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling okay..
Small things are happening too. My girlfriend says she's making salmon for dinner, I hear her preparing salmon, I smell salmon, then she brings it out and it's lasagna. I asked her where the salmon was and she was like, "…What? I said lasagna tonight" And brushed it off like I'm being silly. I could've sworn this one shirt I owned was green and not teal. Shit is changing and people are saying stuff but they're not?! People are narrating their lives sometimes?! Theres no way my friends could be pranking me, not when random people on the street are doing this too.
I'm so scared, I don't want to be thrown in a mental hospital. NOT trying to offend mentally ill people, I just. I'm so scared. I feel like my mind is slowly melting…
Girlfriend can't get a job
Recently my girlfriend lost her job of 4 months working at a kiosk in the mall.
Now I would not be so worried if I saw this as being a temporary thing. But before this last job, she was unemployed for over a year and I foot the bill for everything Food, gifts, gas and things she needed.
>anon, give me money so I can buy you a Christmas present!
>anon, I had a bad day :( Can we get Thai?
On top of this, I had to, and have to, drive her most everywhere because she has no car and cannot drive.
Now that she is unemployed again, I know she's going to start gaining weight like she did before and be at home being sad / looking for new work.
The thing is, she had been looking for work for over a year before this last job and it was always some new story about how she was so close and than they called her and rejected her. She applied for countless places that either just didn't call her back or outright rejected her.
Than she had a couple of days out of the year where she got "hired" only to stay at the place a few days and never get any hours afterwards.
Am I right to be suspicious? Is there something happening here that I don't know about? Anyone had anything similar happen to them? Help pls.
I have a problem. I am a man that likes the idea of being in a long-term relationship with a truly dominant female. But I have come to realize that expressing such a thing makes me reviled by all women I have come across. I have tried to even date women that claim to be "strong and independent" and even radical feminists. It doesn't take long before even the radical feminist expects me to take the lead in the relationship and in bed. In fact they react with total disgust.
Why is it so difficult to find a truly dominant woman?
The philosophical implications of being a broken condom baby
My birth was a mistake. (I'm okay, though.) What does that mean for me?
Is it okay if I don't believe in premarital if I was born because of it?
Am I allowed to advocate good morality if I wouldn't exist without bad morality?
Please give me your thoughts on the matter. inb4 "it doesn't matter" type posts, I know, I'm just curious for what you guys think of the greater implications of the circumstances of my birth.
Need assistance. Please help me understand myself.
Hi /qq/ this is going to be a debilitating post for most of you. I'm sure this is unlike anything you've ever seen, and this isn't some being special stunt. I genuinely need assistance.
I'm all good in the physical department, years of torture from my family has made me exercise everyday and I have surprised my father's physical ability, I make cool YT videos and have decent subs, I am popular online(I guess that's good) and I eat EXTREMELY healthy, no sugar, no salt.
My problems are:
Existential crisis, dealing with and debating the purpose of life.
Authoritarian parents: deadly paranoid and stupid to change.
Masturbation addiction like a mad dog, makes me feel like half my brain melts every time I do it.
I dislike mainstream and always beat around the push. I thought that getting a physically fit body and eating well will boost my confidence but it just made me more of a psychopathic sex addicted monster. I love to program, have hobbies, but I can't seem to stop yearning for the past.
Help me make sense of my scatterbrained thoughts. I feel like I procastinate and multi task too much. I want to disconnect from the web and leave this shit behind for a week to see if it will work.
Is it too late to try to make friends and enjoy life after you've finished college and gotten a full-time job? I missed out on practically everything growing up: making friends, joining a school club, having some place to go after school that wasn't home, etc. All I did was stay inside, play games, browse imageboards, and fap. I made a few friends towards the tail end of high school, but I lost contact with all of them. They all moved to go to universities while I got stuck in this suburban town going to a community college. During college I had a second chance to make up for what I missed, but I blew that chance as well by taking online courses instead of going on campus like everyone else.
So now here I am, 25 with a full-time job that leaves me with no free time during daylight hours, hating myself more and more with each passing day as I realize more of the repercussions that come with having wasted my youth. I'll never know what it's like to belong to a little group of friends that are like a second family to each other. I'll never have someone I can trust, someone to just talk to about any subject we'd find interesting, someone that makes me feel like I matter.
It's not like I'm capable or worthy of making friends anyway. I've joined IRCs and Discords and the like, and I never fit in. I never seem to be able to talk about whatever anyone else is talking about, I'm just so distant from everyone and I have almost nothing in common with anyone. It's like I'm a fucking alien.
I know there's more to life than having friends. I could pursue what few hobbies I have, improve my knowledge and skills, maybe even pick up new ones as I go. But it's not going to fill that void, it's not going to put out the loneliness. And I may as well not exist if I can't find anyone to be close to.
Sometimes I wish I could just start life over knowing what I do now. I can tell that I've been mentally stunted by missing all these vital experiences from youth, and all I want to do is make up for them so I can feel at least remotely human. Maybe I'd feel satisified with life for once.
Feel defeated & disappointed
>Try to make each work day decent while working even when the day goes to shit within 2-3 hours, hoping I can move up
>Today, the workplace holds a lunch paid for by one of it's clients
>Lunch goes to shit, as one of the bosses screams at me over a stupid fucking line people ahead of me didn't follow
>Forced to go back to the line a la Milton from Office Space, so I said fuck it, getting lunch somewhere else
>Work gets worse in the afternoon, as people from other departments still make my job worse with their mistakes (It's been like this for weeks and months, yet I get Hell if god forbid I do something wrong)
>A chick from work I wanted to ask out & date/fuck leaves early with another coworker like they're dating, probably getting blacked/fucked by said coworker
>Realize the place sucks after 5-10+ people already left or got fired (10-20 in total left within 2-3 months), and there's no sign of career growth (even if there's an opportunity, we lost so many people I'm not gonna move out of my shitty position even if I learn new skills, and they always get shitty temps). Rules and teamwork don't really exist, and I also realized I hate everyone at my job including said chick.
I do my best to put up with bad days, but this one took a beating on me. It's sad knowing the only thing I look forward to is how frustrating and disappointing my work day will be because I feel alienated and miserable (I keep applying to other places, but I don't get any bites out of emails from places I never applied to). Maybe it's my fault for doing this, but I tried to socialize with people at work to help me with my depression and feel less alienated (I tried other means like Meetup in the past, and hated my experiences with most of the groups). I don't want to bother with anyone at this point even if the alienation feeling kills me on a daily basis.
I don't really know why I'm posting this. I don't think I can get 'help' as there's no help to be had, it's just a mindset thing.
After last year, I had everything I saw in my future stripped away from me. I became incredibly depressed, to the point where I didn't leave my home for months. I'm trying to do better now, but I feel I finally broke under it all. My entire life has kind of been a struggle to remain happy, and do things better. I thought I was getting better. I thought I was on a path to a better life. I was improving relations with my family, going to transfer to the main campus of my University, and had a relationship where everything was fulfilled. One by one all of these aspects of life crashed and burned in the span of one month, and I was left alone without really anything.
Ever since, even though I'm trying to improve, I can't put my all into things. I feel as though it's too temporary. Like it doesn't matter how hard I push myself, in the end, everything will just fail again. Like there's nothing concrete in this world. There's no reason to work toward anything, because if I did, it'll just disappear again.
Maybe I'm scarred by what happened. I've never been so close to happiness, and then just having it disappear. I don't know. Ever since, everything just feels so melancholic.
It feels like trying in life is just trying to grasp at something that I couldn't ever possibly reach. So I've begun to lose interest in doing so.
Reasons why you will never get a gf
Physical, mental, social, cultural, financial etc reasons why you will never get a gf
>Asian (not even smart squinty-eyed type but nig-tier type)
>Chest keloids from acne scars
>acne scars on nose and chin
>big nig-tier lips
>fat as fuck face even when I'm not fat
>disgusting flat notes
>stretch marks in lower back, armpit, thighs
>no friends, no social connections outside of family
>ESL with shit accent but live in Chadstralia where almost everyone is either a Chad or a Stacy
> No driver's license, no car
> 3 months NEET after graduating
>none of my previous work experience is related to my degree
>shit grades, failed 5 courses
i can't fucking figure out my sleep schedule
because of university, most days i've got stuff from 1pm or later, till 6-9pm
except for fucking wednesday, when i have to be there at 8am
i slowly ended up getting up at 12-1pm and going to bed at 3-5 am
but now it's fucking impossible to get up on time for wednesday
i tried going to sleep every other day rather than every day, but i'm clearly not cut out for it, staying awake is hard enough, by the next day i don't have any energy to do anything
Need to end my relationship but... I might never have sex like this again
Ok. I'm embarrassed to write my problem because I might come trough as a whiny bitch. But this is it:
I stopped having relationships 4 years ago, when my girlfriend dumped me before my mom died of cancer. Fuck it. I went full MGTOW and focused full time on my job and even got a modicum of success. I didn't have a girlfriend nor sexual relationships (unless i paid for them) for that period. I spent my time (and money) on hobbies, porn and a couple visits to nice scorts. I even was able to save a lot of money, I had a lot of time for myself and was content for the first time in a long while. I thought I had found the secret to happiness.
Then came this girl. She is pixie-like and very, very sexy. I met her in a party and talked to her for a while. I knew she was sorta attracted to me, but I stayed convinced on my MGTOW endeavor and simply ditched.
Fast forward a couple of random encounters with her and long story short. We ended up fucking. She somewhat convinced that this was gonna be a simple hookup, a one night thing. Big mistake, I should've listened to my instincts. Continued in another post.
Addicted to rawdogging beautiful women
I just can't bring myself to use a condom.
It just feels like a complete waste of opportunity for me. If I get a beautiful girl in my bedroom im not gonna degrade the experience with a condom.
So I always fuck them and cum inside them. They let me, too. I have dodged the babby bullet so far but I have only been doing this for 4 months I don't know how long I can keep going before I am hit with the 18 years curse.
I am 34 years old. Unemployed with no degree or job references. I still live with my fucking mother. I am broke and my social life has completely died as all my friends are busy getting married and buying houses like normal people do. I have been single and not had sex for over 3 years and still think about my ex all the damn time even though I know its impossible she will ever return now. I have no hope whatsoever in life.
Its fair to say, none of this has happened overnight. I dropped out of Uni many years ago and spent most of my 20s doing short term dead end jobs and battling with social anxiety, bouts of depression etc. I never had the foresight to see the damage I was setting myself up for. No matter how bad things were, I always had the weekend to live for as well as many fads and vague career ideas which I thought would one day lead me to a better place. I realise now that I have spent most of my life in a bubble of complete delusion and that 'fate' didn't quite work out the way I thought it would.
I have to try and get a job and move out. I've known that for years now. Until recently, I've been clinging on to hopes of somehow learning the skills to give myself a chance at a worthwhile career. Graphic design and web development are things I have some interest and basic experience in and the opportunity for self-study is there. The problem is that I seem incapable of sticking with anything, focusing or being productive. I can't explain it, the bane of my life has always been indecision and an inability to just get shit done. It drives me insane as I so want to be productive. I have accepted now that this is something that will never change, that I am a messed up failure and I have to accept the prospect of a life in menial work just to survive. I desperately want a girlfriend but I accept I have nothing to offer as well as being fairly unattractive and shy as fuck.
I've tried everything over the years; counselling (twice), meditation, self-help, you name it. But I always end up in the same place, completely convinced that life is meaningless and that all those things are just mental masturbation that only work for people who are able to successfully delude themselves. I feel sorry for myself and despise myself. I am able to put things in perspective and despite how whiny and aimless this post is, I do have a certain amount of integrity (I think) and realise that things could be much worse.
Long fucking post so I'll wrap it up. I have no hope in life. It is this lack of hope which is killing me inside. I don't know what to do, every day is the same and I just feel like ending it. I am almost institutionalised to living at home and having minimal human contact. I'm scared of what the future holds and feel I am trapped in a world I simply cannot deal with. I am beyond fucking pathetic and I am asking for any kind of advice you may have as I have nothing to lose.
Am I a psychopath?
>live in middle of nowhere
>hour commute to community college (that I get to go to for free because smartbux, they still haven't figured out that I'm a total retard)
>no car so I need my parents or friends to drive me everywhere
>no social life
>I don't even have a comfy farm to work at
>no job because I can't get anywhere
>living off my fucking parents
>I wish I could punish the elites responsible for this
>Not even just remove the bankers and CEOs and shit from power, but active torture them
>just wanna fucking slowly vivisect the shitheads that fired both my parents in '08 to make them pay for ruining our life
>waterboard the brass that gave my cousin PTSD in Afghanistan
>in /nofap/ because I flat out don't have sexual desires
>but they're just replaced by my urges to just tear apart the rich fucks that have stepped on me and my entire family limb by limb and organ by organ
>tfw I fantasize regularly about the mad scientist shit I would inflict on them
>tfw there's no way for me to actually do that in real life
What the fuck is wrong with me?
So when are you supposed to an hero?
>"I could save a lot of money on food by raising chickens and rabbits"
>Buy chickens and rabbits
>4 months later
>"this is way too fucking expensive and labor intensive"
>Quit job because Im tired of throwing away my life for a jack-shit paycheck from Mr. Feingoldrosenblatbergstein
>Decide to move back in with Dad so I can develop my own business without throwing away everything on rent
>Buddy (former landlord) asks me to get rid of the animals from his barn
>I slaughter what I can for meat
>There are a few left, non meat worthy, that I need to rid of asap and dont want to have to deal with selling on craigslist
>Drive way out into the country
>Let rabbits go in a nice bushy area
>Sheriff rolls up OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE
>Didnt run, recollected rabbits, told to go to animal control and drop them off
>Cop says he sees conspiracy of animal abuse
>Reads miranda rights and asks a few questions
>lets me go, I head to animal control that is 20 miles away
>Calls and tells me meet with him at a parking lot for animal control to pick up
>Meet, and give animals to AC
>Get lectured about not making shitty choices like this
>Will have to pay bill for animal control pickup
>May or may not have to talk to detectives
>May or may not have to call saul
>Still have $5000+ I owe to other people
Why am I such a fuck up?
I lost my mind, got it back, but now what do I do with it?
So /qq/, this might be a bit long but there's a lot of ins and outs to my story. This is a story of how a man can become paranoid and psychotic to the point of an inability to communicate, how he fought his way back, and what he's left with. I'm looking for guidance on my way forward. I'll start off with where my path to mental hell began, when I lost my dream job.
I was 22, fresh from being an unemployed NEET, and I landed a job paying $17/hr as an IT help desk. I'm personable, I genuinely try to help people, but sometimes I make stupid fucking decisions. One of those stupid decisions was to try taking a piss behind the portable I worked at. I thought I was the last one out. but apparently the female employee wasn't finished closing up. She walked around the corner and saw me zipping up. The next day I went to apologize, but she wouldn't speak to me. Later I was told to go to HR. I was told by one of the fakest, WASPiest fuckers on the planet that I had to resign or I was fired. So I resigned with a "conflict of interest" as my reason. Oh, I should mention I worked on a school site so there's even more of a reason to fire my ass.
I get it. I fucked up. The thing is, I'm a gentle person. The last thing I try to do is to be a bother to other people. What's the worst thing a guy can be? A pervert. Was I flashing her? Did she think I was trying to flash her? I'm such an idiot, a straight fucking idiot. So I went back to being unemployed. I felt like I had done some great evil. I stayed unemployed until January of last year.
So now I'm 24. A friend has got me a job working at Wendy's. It's closing shift, but it's ten bucks an hour (minimum wage where I live) and the hours will be steady. This is it, this is my penance! I throw myself into it. Weeks go by and I learn the value of hard work. Eight hours of hard labor. Anybody who's worked in food service knows that closing shift is the hardest. If you work fast food you know it's downright exploitation. Still, I put myself there, right? Weeks turn into months.
Around November I get the chance to move out of my mom's. I'm going to finally grow up! I began living in a house with four of my friends. Or at least I thought it was going to be four. In reality it was more like six with one person staying off and on and the other stranded due to auto issues. One of the people is somebody I care deeply about, he's okay. The other is a full blown addict. We love him, we feel his pain, but he's the best friend of the person who's essentially the head of the house. In him I saw a dark reflection of my future self if I turned from just smoking pot to going full in on other substances. It really worried me.
Then it happened. I got sick for three days. Genuinely sick, like high fever, can't breathe, holy fuck I can't come in. So I call off of work. I have sick hours, so it should all be okay, right? Well the thing about my work is that we've been understaffed on management for about four months and on top of that for the entire holiday season we had no General Manager either. So essentially I get eight hours less than I should've got. Essentially I couldn't make rent.
So what do you do when you can't make rent, you're too proud to ask your mother or friends to borrow some money, and you have connections? Time to sell some weed!
Will continue in a separate post.
office work and life
I have been in the white collar line of work ever since I got out of high school. I was a receptionist for four years until I moved onto my current job 6 months ago and let me tell you, it is the most soul destroying work around.
>get job as sales admin
>no real experience in the promotional industry
>think everyone likes me
>never done nothing like this before but okay
>barely figure out everything in 3 months
>they expected me to fill the shoes of the previous employee who had been here for years
>get call on third month from boss
>"anon, I want you to do whatever you need to do to become as good as other employee"
>no pressure right?
>December rush comes
>can barely keep up, lots of mistakes made
>office manager gets progressively more angry at me as time goes on
>is constantly making passive aggressive remarks everytime I fuck up
>"you're making stupid mistake anon and that's just unfortunate"
>take up smoking because I got the shakes after work because I was so stressed
>honestly think it would be better to die than keep working here
>for some reason the boss still wants to keep me around at the 4 month mark
>move me into better office with view and
>feel like I'm getting more confident and making less mistakes
>at 6 month mark they replace me with a new girl, give me a shitty laptop, buy everyone new and nice things
>give my old laptop to girl replacing me
>tell me I'm going to be dedicated order entry specialist for all our online stores
>no talk of pay raise like at initial interview
>have to walk on eggshells around office manager
>have to process everything fast with ass computer
>on top of all this, during the 5th month my new car broke down and O had to go back to my old one
>performance reviews pushed up to July
>one year from when I started
I already talked to the boss and he says he wants to keep me on board. I just feel like utter shit doing this work at times.
Anger thread. For angry people.
I am always angry. I'm not angry when I'm with a girl though. I had a girlfriend for a week before we went our separate ways (we live far away). We would hug and shit. and I've groped and kissed sluts but I'm still a virgin. I can never find attractive women. I practically live in the ghetto right now. I'm white. I move out of my parents house in a few months once I land an apprenticeship. I just want a woman or ten. And a wife. Maybe a couple wives. I'd say I'm a 7/10 but with steroids soon I'll be an 8/10. I hate myself. I was born fucked up. I can never be a professional athlete. I cant join the military cuz asthma. Born a fuck up.
Im 18 and dropped out of high school. Im going to get a GED. Girls at school were all over me but I just wanted a girl who worked out as hard as I did. All girls just drink and smoke and whore themselves out. Theyve got flat asses and non existant tits. I just want a white girl with a nice tan and nice hair who is an alpha female. An alpha male needs an alpha female. Its so hard to find decent bitches. They gotta be 5'8 minimum, I love it when theyre taller though. Tall women, when they curvy and athletic, those women are PRICELESS> I love them! I can't get enough of them.
ive been cucked, i think
pls help me
ive been cucked like some of u say
I was dating and fucking a girl, an old girl 40s or something, and my best friend (childhood) took away from me, introduced to EVERYONE I KNOW
as HIS FORMAL GIRLFRIEND, (event they call him by her name as nickname)
i dont know what to do, i always laught for cucks and their histories, and, i feel like garbage, pls help me bros
>pic related my waifu
What has happened to me
I'll try my best to keep good grammar & punctuation, and this isn't in order because I already have enough trouble mentally tracking things as I once did, if I trust my self-perception, I'm aware this has become an egotistic blogpost.
Whenever I think of something it just goes away after a while if I don't keep on it which is something I never had happen to me before and it takes me a long time to write things now. I feel like my head fluctuates between shrinking and pressurizing as I try to manipulate into making me feel content than actually figuring out problems. My mind has been obsessed the past few months with old memories that only should be dug up for special occasions because in September I've accidentally started deleting memories on accident while binge-watching a TV show so this warped my mind because of the prolonged impression plus TV just being garbage. I met a girl in June and she infiltrated my head and sees me as a novel and has an obsession over me and she's painfully socially retarded and thinks she smarter than she actually is and doesn't understand which has led me to suppress myself because here I am with Jane Doe who I thought I loved but I don't fucking connect with her, I'm floating but locked at the same time in smog.
My self-confidence has only ever been stable for 5 months in my whole life, I felt unstoppable and happy but a reborn steel kind not a sentimental and saddening kind, and after that I fell into a slump of self-doubt that altered how I reacted to people and how well I could communicate with people. I always striven to be the absolute best in which some friends called unreachable uberman levels of nirvana & clarity which led to me calling many of my friends pussies whenever life got them down (typing this I wonder if it's the same down or they were really just fucking shallow and got upset over girls not liking them), I only had one friend who was on the same doctrine as me and he's physically and mentally solid.
I got in a fight with one of my old old friends in May and this is what he said:
>i had you around whenever i fucking could because we were bros but if someone you didnt like which was basically everyone but like 3 fucking people you would leave so dont go on with that shit saying i didnt want you around because i tried to fit you in wherever i could and youre the fuckin bipolar retard overanalyzing shit pretending its some fucking movie but its not and youre just fucking yourself over shit is simpler than you make it you just push everyone away because theyre naive or some shit but just making an ass of yourself dont even respond to this because i dont give a shit what you say and i prolly wont read it now quit bein a bitch and go make more than 3 friends
We had a long conversation over a week later and mended things but it hasn't been the same since and I feel shitty, did I have a big ego or was I just retarded.
Asking a girl out
I want to ask this girl out in one of my classes, and I only have two more class periods to do so. . We talk all the time before class and stuff. I would've asked her out sooner but I didn't want to make class awkward if she said "no." So, I don't know how to do it. I didn't want to ask her for her number first because I feel like it is better to ask in person. I don't necessarily want to go on a date. I just want to hang out and talk because I enjoy talking to her. I was going to ask her to go out for a coffee, but this girl I know told me that is a "cringey thing to ask." I might be like "what's your fave food? Do you like pizza?" And then ask her if she wanna get a slice, but that might seem too datey. Please help me out, guys. I really need help.
I'm pretty much a NEET for right now but in about a year I have to move out of my house. I think that by that time it would be a good opportunity to start trying to get a girlfriend and live a more normal life then sitting at a computer screen being depressed all the time. I'm out of shape and my teeth are fucked up for the time being so I'm not confident I can get a girl to like me. I'm also worried I won't be able to find anyone who will click with me personally, in other words if I find someone who possibly likes me I don't know what to do if they just aren't my type or something like that. Any advice?
How to deal with lewd conversations?
How are you supposed to react when people start talking about sex and all of that? It happens to me so often, I'm around people who constantly have to inject dirty humor into everything. They're like NPCs who repeat the same thing over and over:
>hmm not sure where this item goes
>ask coworker where it goes
>"HAHAHA I'LL SHOW YOU WHERE IT GOES" (up my ass apparently)
>talking with a coworker
>"Yeah my computer is pretty slow now I think I'll need a new one soon"
>"HAHAH WERE YOU LOOKING AT TOO MUCH PORN, ANON? AHAHA"
>young woman walks by
>coworker: "…would you bang her, dude? Dude? Dude would you bang her?"
I'm so fucking sick of this shit. I don't want to hang out with these people but I have to work with them every day. If I speak up and say "hey not everything has to be about sex" I'm going to look like some shrill SJW or a mormon goob. The game I'm playing now is keeping quiet or giving very terse answers to whatever bullshit they're talking about but every day I'm inching closer to blowing up and calling them a bunch of goddamned disgusting degenerates. But that's just going to make me a target for bullying. "hahah oh anon, calm down. We didn't mean to ruffle your virgin feathers".
>be a brown person who grew up embracing american culture in the 80s
>see the culture deteriorate to what we see now
>spent my entire teen life rebelling against PC culture in the early 90s
>finally come to a head in the mid 2000s when I succumbed to the black pill and went full neet
>become a supreme shitposter and spread the destruction of the left
>tfw the people I helped now want me gone because wrong color
Is this what original sin feels like? Feels real bad when the nation the people you help want you to move to a nation of other people that will kill me for be beliefs and my lack of Spanish speaking skills.
So, /qq/, my life is a mess. I've tried fix it but to no avail. I still feel awful and I want to die again.
I'll start by giving you some background.
My relationship with my mother is not the best. She's a single mother, has a problem with alcohol and had constant relationships with shitty guys, yet she was really moralistic and hated gay people. When I was 15 she found out I was gay and threatened to kill any guy I was with. Needless to say, I was scared shitless, never attempted anything and focused on moving when I graduated out of high school.
I moved when I was 18, because I was tired of my mom's issues and her awful relationships. After that I worked and attended to college while renting a student room. It was not the best but I sort of had something of a life going on.
On 2015, when I was 20, I met a guy from another country on the other side of the world online (I know it's really stupid, but I was a kissless virgin) whom I hit it off really well; He became my best friend, we had the same hobbies (anime and shit), shared a lot of my views, and we started a LDR. It was something new and amazing, I couldn't describe these feelings but I was so happy everyday.
I realized I had to meet him, so I had to swallow my pride and go back to my mother's house to save money, over 2 years after leaving, and I met him 4 months into the relationship. I lied, of course, I told her I was saving money for the future, and she never knew about my secret relationship.
I went to meet him for a month, and it was the happiest I ever felt in my life. He really made me feel like my life was worth something. I could share everything with him, he promised me the world, and I was sure he was the man of my life. So with that certainty in mind, I came back with the certainty I could endure anything because the future was great.
7 months of dealing with the same bullshit I had left for (including one of her exes stealing money from my wallet, the police having to detain him after he left me with bruises after I prevented him from beating my mom up, my mom's drunken rants telling me how I was useless, etc.), he told me he needed time to reconsider things about the relationship because he wasn't as happy as before. So we stopped talking for around 3 weeks.
During those 3 weeks, my mom had a doctor appointment where they discovered she had cancer, and her constant health issues happened because of that. And yet, when she told me, she said she knew she hasn't been a good mother, that I should live my dreams and gave me a bunch of savings for a study abroad she knew I wanted to do (It was actually a trip to meet him again, obviously). Even when she knew she could die, all she was thinking of was helping me, and all I had was a bunch of resentments against her.
So I went and talked with this guy in search of support, and he told me we couldn't do the trip because he got bored of me, that he banged 4 guys during our time apart and he wanted to break up with me. I never felt so awful in my entire life, so betrayed, so worthless. I planned my life and future around this guy. He was my everything and I could deal with anything because of him.
So that night I took around a whole bottle of sedatives. I realized what I had done only after I couldn't do anything about it since my body didn't react like I wanted it to. I was ready to die. But I didn't, I woke up the day after that and the doctor said the only reason I didn't die was because I fell sideways and didn't choke on my own vomit. And she had to see me like that.
After that, I couldn't focus on classes and failed all of them, and I was put on academic probation. I also was laid off from my job because the company fell under. Now I have a part time one but I can't really depend on it long term.
It's been almost 6 months since I tried to die and I can't seem to get up.
My life is a mess, my mom and only family is dying with the knowledge I'm not happy, my love and best friend betrayed me, I'm not really "there" for my classes, I know I'll fail again, and I have nothing to look forward to.
It feels like all the awful things my mom said about gay people were right. It feels like this was my punishment for being a liar and using her for my own purposes even when I know she would hate me for it. I still don't know why I had to wake up. I'm sorry. I don't know what else to say.
I can't seem to get myself to do anything other than what's necessary. Even then I'm a procrastinator. For example, I'll write a 1500 word essay two hours before a class starts, despite it being due for 2 months.
Do you guys have any ideas? I try all the stupid "set a timer" shit from wikihow to no avail. It seems to be the only thing holding me back in life tbqh because the rare time I actually do something early it feels like my life isn't falling apart, unlike how it usually feels.
So after about 3-4 years of under-achievement, procrastination, not getting a license and generally being slightly above average at everything i feel like college could weed me out. Thing is, i feel no drive do complete anything. Networking interests me, but i can't bring myself to do anything productive. The only times I've ever gotten something done that's benefited myself is because of someone else exerting pressure.
It's like the magical "will to live" simply wasn't given to me. I can fake being social, but "fake it till you make it" doesn't actually work and the lethargy forces me to just watch as my world slowly burns up.
I have debt,no money saved,no business in my area and all my friends left me with their middle income parents. I do have a job(1 day a week) though.
Does anyone else experience this? Who else can't bring themselves to live? Am i alone?
Why can't forget about her?
I can't seem to let go of the fact that she doesn't want me, i feel like i am delusional when i keep desiring her even though she said no, it's almost a state of limbo where i cannot accept or refuse, why can't i move on with my life and get over it, am i that lonely and wanting of Human connection, or is it some sort of obsessive mental illness?
This seems like a decent place to do this. 2 years ago I was an inch away from being pulled underneath a car and suffering major damage. Instead I got through it with extensive second degree road rash to my flank after being dragged down a steep hill for about 20+ meters. Typical everything slowed down, miliseconds turning into seconds, adrenaline kicking in, that sort of thing. Ever since the Event seemingly innocuous things will trigger I hate that word but it's the only one I can think of a huge emotion response. I never know when it will happen or what will cause it and I get choked up. I'm empathetic, but before the Event very little could make me cry. I went through the death of two grandparents not shedding a tear because that's just how I am. For the death of the third last year I couldn't hold it back and wept like a child. They were all important to me but it just hit me harder this time and I'm not sure it was because of who it was.
When I start to tear up I have no idea why half the time. If I were to guess I would think I have some mild form of PTSD but no way in hell am I going to go get that shit diagnosed. I live in a Deep Blue State and a PTSD diagnosis can likely stop me from getting firearms. I feel more comfortable around those who've seen some shit and crack jokes about it then I do around normal people. I don't think I have any questions. I just wanted to share.
6 years ago I made friends with a dope guy. We became best friends, I was going through a lot, he was there to lean. Likewise he did the same. We'd smoke, talk, hang out, good times, met a lot of people through each other. Basically brothers for a while.
Over the years as we left our teens, we went down different paths. There is too much history to explain. I know him well. He has a very dark side to him that emerged. It drove me away but there was always loyalty, I'd still help him if he had things going, it's in my nature.
Anyways I've came to fear that he may be a monster and that basically he talks to me because I briefly give him hope of change, easing his conscience before he just returns to it. I've spent so much time and ,metal energy trying to help once in a while. Long phone calls, serious conversations, long message chains. I'm not saying daily, I mean once every 6 months. Like a rolling update on his psyche.
He's admitted he's a narcissist. He has a violent side. He's got a good side, but it might be a lie. I've watched his sociopathic tendancies, I've seen how he only has emotions when it suits him. He can't accept being wrong, he flies off the handle into a rage. He has very little emotional development or maturity and has became increasingly dangerous.
I've already established I can't be a part of it but it's difficult. I feel like he's anakin and I'm luke, that every time I share this good information he just uses it to develop a better mask whilst the true evil lurks.
A recent conversation made me realise that all this help I've gave him over the years may have been pointless. He's ne'er learnt anything. He maintains a public face while being a horror behind closed doors. He may be a monster, he is building himself up to a Big Bang I feel. He is obsessed with violence as a way to prove himself. He is manipulative, he is ruthless.
But also plays the role of conflicted soul very well. Says he wishes to be better. Says he can be good but sometimes he just switches.
I'm not sure, I'm venting. But someone out there should probably give me something to think on because I cannot discuss this in real life. We share multiple circles, I can't cause a scene, I think he'd respect me saying I can't help anymore but I can't go for his jugular. I want out, every time this happens, I feel so,ewhag responsbile. Because I'm there playing the role of pastor.
Having been a bhuddisr for 4 years, spent years overcoming my own challenges and having always been there for people if they need it - I've always felt that I couldn't just tell him to fuck off.
i think i have an addiction to sex i constantly want to fuck almost every girl, but im too autist to talk to them
but sooner or later im gonna fuck someone, im not on maximum powerlevel, i can talk to other people
the problem is that i have a GF, and i want to be loyal to her, have a monogamous closed relationship
how can i stop thinking about sex?
>constantly asking myself if I am insane
>second guess myself, wonder if this is all just some delusion
>always feel like there's something off-putting about myself, like I'm deformed or something but it's also a mental disability so I can't recognize the deformation myself (like I see myself as normal when I look in the mirror or something)
>went to a shrink and tested positive for nothing
>really paranoid about shit like xenoestrogens and government spying, but never actually have the motivation to do anything other than low effort "solutions" to prevent things (I guess that's how I know I'm not like crazy paranoid)
>plagued about ideas that if I just put in x effort I could've been so much more successful
>always think of suicide but never consider it for real
>pretty well accomplished, got Bachelor's and Master's at 19, now working a somewhat lucrative engineering job, starting to fund my own business
>but always feel like I've accomplished nothing
>always think "am I retarded or a genius?"
>feel like everyone's accomplished all the "great" discoveries
>feel like I will never have a chance to really advance humanity, everything after the [current_year] will just be thousands of people etching away at the next discovery Basically, everything now is just too complex for one man (for example, plato) to make great strides in science by himself
>have some revolutionary ideas, it's just that I'm paranoid that I'd never be recognized if I published them
>feel like I can't relate to anybody, even when I've been past my edgy teenager phase
>nobody around me except on here understands my humor/line of thinking
>everyone repeats the same jokes, and not even that, they unironically repeat whatever phrases they've heard on tv or social media, nobody (around me irl) ever sounds like they have original thoughts anymore
>feel like I was born in the wrong time, feel like I should've been born a century ago
>wonder what the fuck people are thinking when they laugh at SNL, Last week tonight, Colbert, etc.
>wonder what the fuck people are thinking in general
(vid related) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytnFVbdlaSo
Getting rid of tears(?)
Is it possible to prevent yourself from crying even when you're really depressed/broken down? One thing I tried to do for the past 9-10 years is to prevent myself from crying because I realized tears won't fix or do anything beneficial for me; like crying is a sign of weakness to me. I felt sad when I lost pets, felt lonely/alienated, something horrible happened elsewhere, or some really bad shit happened to me/"loved ones," but I try to stop myself from crying about it.
That said, the last time I really broke down crying was almost two years ago, and I think 2007 or 2008 before that (Won't bore you with details; that'll be for another thread). When I try to stop myself, a tear or two will come out, but for some reason it burns.
I'll try to explain this as best as I can. I'd like to start from the beginning so you can get a better understanding of where I'm coming from.
>had rhotacism for first 18 years of my life
>couldn't pronounce my first or last name properly (world came out as "wode", bear "beo", etc.)
>didn't notice I had any troubles pronouncing words until I got to middle school and heard a recording of my voice
>get teased about it and feel embarrassed about my voice and how I speak; eventually, stop talking to people almost entirely
>this goes on through the entirety of middle school and high school
>finally find a speech pathologist with the help of my father
>18 by now and starting college soon. can at least say my name by now and more 'r' words, but have zero recent experience starting, holding, or ending normal conversations
Needless to say, I have never had a girlfriend and have only recently been semi-successful at building friendships. Luckily, I had gotten a job at my community college where I could hold some small conversations and get some basic things down. Even saying "hello" or talking a couple of sentences felt really difficult for a long time.
I'm 22 now and started university recently, so I've been trying to push myself to do better. I've been taking singing classes for a year, trying to talk to people in my classes or bus stops, doing karaoke, and I'm doing an acting class now to help get out of my comfortzone more.
However, I find talking to people still really difficult. I often hesitate to start a conversation because I don't know where to take it and I often don't know how to end it or start it up again after a conversation dies. If I think someone finds what I'm saying uninteresting or boring, I either trail off or just let the conversation die out. I chop up my sentences and sometimes they turn into a convoluted mess that doesn't make a lick of sense. I always struggle with figuring out what to say next, even with friends I've known for a long time. Not to mention, I'm always worried about my rhotacism slipping through, so I over moderate what I'm about to say before I say it and it makes things worse. I'm not sure if I should accept my slip-ups or try to iron them out and really practice hard on getting my annunciation right. All this is 10x worse when I'm talking to a girl.
I just wanted to put all this out there. Has anyone here ever struggled with something similar?
It was ironic, I told myself that "I probably won't have an actual girlfriend until I'm 30" and I was okay with that. And then the very next day, I fire up tinder and match with a girl. We immediately hit it off, over the next three days we chat, I learn more about her, she learns more about me. It felt so weird, actually looking forward and hoping that this person would message me back. Having a slight disappointment when my phone vibrates and it's not her. I didn't have the feeling for years. I thought she was absolutely beautiful, inside and out. I was gushing over her, and I knew I shouldn't, and I didn't care.
I knew exactly why too. Through my life I learned quickly that, I was supposed to build a wall of stoic confidence. People admired me for it. I am the shoulder to lean on. I was already seeing with her, I wouldn't have to be that person. I could be vulnerable.
On the 3rd day, before saying our goodnights she gives me her number and tells me to text her tomorrow. I text her the next day, not really a conversation or anything, just a confirmation that it's me. The day after that, I ask if she wants to go meet in person. Dead air. no response. It made me feel 100% like shit. My confidence absolutely crumbled. That was yesterday. Today I've I can present my typical self, but I knew things were off.
Half of me is saying just wait a few days, and start talking to her again. The other half is just saying don't waste your time.
I understand, that when you enter the arena expect to take a few punches; but I can't deal with this stress. Is the answer just to build another impenetrable emotional wall?
So here I am drinking half of bottle of wine. I am completely destroyed! I met this guy that I thought would be my forever, my savior, my everything. My everything he was, I did anything for him and to him. He said he wanted a confident woman, when I was, he would shut me down making me feel like shit. He wanted someone that would be attentive, so I cooked for him prepared him snacks or lunch to take to work, give him and sneak in little love notes; it wasn't enough. He wanted great sex, so I did things I would never in my life do, I worked out more so I could be better, that to him was AMAZING. He wanted honesty, I told him every detail of my past, plans for the future and my present. He used my past against me, kept bringing past hurtful memories (like when I was raped and an abusive relationship) over and over. My future was always criticized and my present was always questioned. He wanted unconditional love, after 2 months together spent $1,000 on a trip for his friend's graduation (who I had never met) Would tuck him in to sleep (LITERALLY) I would sweet talk to him, sing (even though I really cant) to him, until he would fall asleep, it wasn't enough. He had skin problems and asthma, everytime he would get sick, I would make him soup, make sure he was taking his medicines, sing him to sleep or until the pain would go away. I would drive one hour and fifteen minutes every weekend to go see him (he did not have a car) it was not enough. He made rules of telling him everything I do during the day and whenever he would get angry at something I would do and I would tell him I didn't think there was a problem because he did it too, he would say that him doing it was different. He would tell me he would never do something and later tell me that why he told me that was because he did not want me to do it, and that he change his mind, and that he thought I was worth it. Thinking of all of this just makes me angry and sad with myself. I moved the earth for him, put myself second and it was never enough because, you know why? because he did not want me, that's why it was never enough. With his accusations, critics, and mind games he drove me into insanity. We finally let go of each other. In a 4 paragraph whatsapp message, he said how he wanted to rescue me and that he failed me. Two days later he texts concerned about the hurricane and how I was doing. I had hopes, like he had always given me, from the start. As if I was his rat in a test lab, giving me oxygen for a few minutes and then deprive me of it and then repeat the process. I should have told him to go to hell, but I didn't and now he just stopped texting, now he is gone. Today I am here hurt as hell, not knowing if I could love that way again, not knowing myself, not having any confidence. Who knows what the hell he is doing. I have some guys that would gladly kick his ass, as much as want him beaten up mmm..sweet to think about it, I cannot. Fuck this shit, fuck this life, fuck love, and fuck crazy manipulative guys like this. I'm done. I will become the best maneater out there, I will not give myself like this again.
Who /lives2hoursaway/ from your city/uni here? It's a kind of hell only us know.
>Impossible to go to bars or other nightlife because you can't get home in time
>Very difficult to meet women because none of them want to take a 2 hour train to your house
>The commute fucking sucks. It drains your energy
>If you need to do something simple like return an electronics item you have to plan the whole day around it
I've got fired Friday
And I was too busy getting high and playing videogames as a vain try to not think about it.
>Be me, a 21yo training to get in the army (since I was a fatboy younger and my condition is shit).
>Try not to die of hunger since parents can't give me much money.
>Get a job at the soccer stadium.
>The firsts missions were pretty easy, I was with my best friend, cooking french fries while flirting with my manager (I still can remember that perfect piece of ass…)
>Last Friday, a big game happen and they called me in need.
>Go to work, get my accreditation but nothing to wear it.
>Ask politely to the lady in charge, who told me they run-off of thread.
>Meh, go on anyway.
>Security guards ask for my accreditation, show them, doesn't want to let me in.
>Guess I can try to get something to put the damn thing as a collar.
>Try with my earphones, ask people if they where willing to give me one for money, ask again to the lady.
>The answer is no.
>Get pissed, go see the lady explaining the situation.
>She goes with me, the guards says no again, call out chief security (now, do you remember Obelix? Well, Imagin that, smaller, fattier and red like a fucking tomatoe)
>Obelix try to intimidate me by look me in the eyes.
>It could have work if I wasn't a head taller than him, but he did it anyway because of the two morons and since I'm young, the laws in this country give you the right to treat us like shit at work (France RPZ).
>Be silent while the lady and Obelix arguing.
>Then the bitch told the last phrase I've wanted to hear:
>"If you don't want to let him in, I will have to replace him by another."
>"Do as you want, without his accreditation around his neck, he's going nowhere."
>"Fine, Anon, you-"
>Start the ragequit
>"What? For a fucking necklace? That you where supposed to give me? You know what? Fuck this shitty job, and you, go put your accreditation up your fat ass."
>Leave while I hear laughs
I might have anger issues.
And to start searching for newjob.
It's Monday 5am, I didn't feel the need to sleep, I run out of weed and tobacco, starting my 3rd day without leaving my room since I don't have money, no friends and my will to train is around zero.
Help me please.
Every morning I wake up, sad that I am not turning over to the right to sing "Heil dir im Siegerkranz".
My issue is exactly that; I want a Kaiser back in my fatherland of Germany. It is regrettable that the Kaiser and the Kings and Counts perished at the hands of political extremists of the past. I want to ask you, how can I make the Kaiser return?
I will pay for good answers.
So I've always been told if I'm feeling suicidal I need to talk to some one about it. This is good advice. It's almost always helped. Just feeling the loving embrace of a friend, or family member really does a lot for my depression, and crippling self doubt.
The problem is what do you do when you've completely exhausted that resource? My family got sick of hearing about it a long time ago. My mom literally yelled at me at one point "ANON! IF YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE UP ON LIFE JUST FUCKING DO IT ALREADY." Idk if she was just trying that whole tough love thing, or if she is actually a bitch that has completely given up on me.
My friends are growing to be the same kind of situation. They aren't as blatant about it as my mother was, but it's fairly obvious to see they are thinking along the same lines.
I hold back talking about things a lot because I feel like I don't want to burden other people with my problems. I understand too. I don't like being around people in emotional pain either. It's draining, awkward, and completely kills the vibe. I don't blame them for being human.
So back to the question. What do you do when you're feeling like doing it, and don't have anyone to talk to about it? Suicide hotlines are so impersonal, and are essentially worthless. Same with a therapist. They literally just want my money, and are not concerned with my well being. I'm worried I'm going to keep all this shit bottled up for too long, finally decide to get too drunk one night in a fit of depression, and end up doing something stupid.
Btw I know it kind of sounds like it, but I'm not the emo type to constantly complain, and play the woe is me card just looking for attention. Although I'm fairly positive that's what people think is going on because I've been thinking about it for years now, and not done it. I'm coming to my wits end though. I just feel like such a bother. What do /qq/?
So, I'm having a serious fucking life issue right now, and I could really use some advice.
I just started my own 8chan board, and 49 out of the 50 times I've tried changing the stylesheet, it won't save, and the one time it did, it wasn't applied to the board.
What the fuck am I doing wrong here? Is there some kind of nuclear activation code required to get CSS to fucking work on this site?
My dumbass mom told her boss who she trusted about my disciplinary problems when I was younger. As result he decided to start fucking with me. This guy used to fuck me in my sisters room and then he would force me to beat off in my sisters room; because I'm gay. I fought back once, then threw me in the psychward. Then I started waking up in jail.
My mom is a dumbass Republican who decided to work for a Democratic politician.
Now I'm about to get fucked over because I have emotional problems and they decided my "boypussy" isn't good enough anymore. How fucking convenient right?
My personal issue is that there is too much anime and I can't catch up on it all. I wish japan would stop producing anime for a year so I could catch up on everything.
Another personal issue is that I saved the thumbnail of this image and not the full size like a retard
Often i feel lonely but when i am with people or even friends which i somehow have i just hate it, i can't stand being around people but i still have do it to not go insane, anyone else have this problem?
Literally nobody i enjoy being around, not family not friends not strangers.
My personal issue? I can't help my friends with their personal issues.
Most people I meet can move on from their problems. But once in a while I'll stumble upon a wonderful person I simply can't seem to help, no matter how hard I try.
I talk to them, try to perk them up with some light conversation, but their life experiences have left them with a dearth of confidence, which makes them constantly accentuate the negative. They worry and obsess over the smallest things, just as I did when I was stricken with anxiety and depression. And because they can only see the worst facets of life, just getting them to smile is a Herculean feat.
I want to see them succeed, but my best effort just ain't cutting it. So I'll turn it over to the experts: How do I help someone who's given up on life?